Chapter Forty: Quarantine

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Emptiness.
That's the only word I can use to describe how I'm feeling. The only word that describes how I felt when I realized I had to be quarantined, away from Daryl.
The only word to describe how I felt when I was thrown into a room where I couldn't have contact with anybody. This room is blank. I only have a bed and a notebook dad gave me to write how I'm feeling in. I guess that's all I can do.

NOTE: THIS CHAPTER WILL BE FILLED WITH ELIZABETH'S JOURNAL ENTRIES DURING HER TIME IN QUARANTINE.


Entry number one:

I feel so alone. The only thing I can think about is what Daryl is doing right now.
I can only think about if he's thinking about me too. I know that he is. He has to be.
I've been in here less than 24 hours and I already feel like I'm losing it a little bit. I keep thinking about Lori and Merle. Sometimes I think about Karen too. I only talked to her one time.
She was giving me advice about how to cope with my dreams. I only dream of the dead. The living never visit me like they used to. There's no more happy dreams anymore. There's only the kind that make you jump up from your bed.

I'm being haunted. Not by the people that I've lost, but by myself. Lori and Merle would let me go if I could let them go. But I can't. I can't let go of the look in their eyes as life faded from them. I can't seem to let go of all of that. I really just want to hug Judith and let her know I love her. She's the only trace of Lori that I have left.


Entry number two:

I had another bad dream. It was the one where Merle tells me that I killed him. The one where he tells me I'll kill Daryl too. I wish he would leave me alone. I can't stand all of this anymore.
I can tell that it's morning light by the beams of sunshine peeking in through my window. I feel pretty sick today. My back aches, my throat aches, my head aches. Everything just hurts.

It feels like the regular flu, but I know it isn't. They said they cut me off to prevent me from getting sicker. But I know they cut me off to prevent me from getting them sick. I know that I will probably die. I'm not sure if I'm okay with that, but I don't have a choice in the matter. I should've died the first time I got bitten. I should've died when The Governor stabbed me, but I didn't. I kind of wish that second bite would've put me in a coma. At least that way I could sleep through the illness.

Entry number three:

I hear the voices again. The voices of the dead. I can hear Lori whispering to me and telling me that I will be with her soon. I think she may be right. I am dying slowly.

Entry number four:

Dad brought me some medicine and tea today. He didn't linger or have a conversation with me, he just simply sat them on my table and left. It's probably because he knows I am dying. I can feel my body getting weaken by the second. Sometimes I just want to hang myself from the ceiling fan to get it over with. I haven't heard Daryl's voice in days. I long to hear him speak to me. I long to feel his arms wrapped around me again, but I fear that wont be happening ever again.

Entry number five:

I woke up and I can't walk. I think this is it for me. I've said that so many times while writing these, but I mean it this time. I've been taking my medicine, but I don't think it's working. I don't feel any different. I just feel a lot worse. I'm growing much more used to the sounds of silence, however. But the only thing worse than dying from this flu is being left alone with my thoughts. They may just kill me too.

Entry number six:

I'm shocked that I'm not dead yet. I actually felt slightly better when I awoke this morning. I can actually walk today, which is good. I'm just having these terrible pains in my stomach. I should probably tell my father about them when he comes to check in.

Entry number seven:

I told him about the pains. He says it's normal since I've been so sick. But it feels weird. I can tell something is wrong with my body. I can just feel that something is terribly wrong, but I don't know what it is. Dad says he will examine me if the pain gets worse. And I have a feeling that it will only get much worse from here.

Entry number eight:

The pain is almost crippling. I feel completely fine aside from that. The flu didn't kill me but these pains just might. I would say it's cramps, but these are far worse than cramps. These are pains that could kill and they just might do that. Dad says I can leave quarantine tomorrow and see the others. But of course he has to see me first. We have to figure out what is causing me to feel this way. I had been having light cramps for weeks, but this was much more intense. It felt like I was being stabbed. This felt worse that actually being stabbed. This was hell, and I couldn't even see it getting better

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