When daddy left

Nothing holding her back

Anthony's POV

"You?..You are that boy?" She asks staring at me in disbelief. I nod and go on,

"Don't change the topic here baby doll I was mad at you for hiding stuff from me and you still haven't told me anything."

She stares away fidgeting with her fingers and wears this sad look that I knew would come up but I cannot avoid the topic that seems so twisted.

"I've told you everything Anthony. What do you want me to say? Do you want me to admit something I haven't done?"

I can't believe the voice am hearing is hers, it's so broken and distant as if she's speaking from the other side of the hallway. She looks so exhausted and broken. I hate seeing her like this but I have the right to know everything and she's the only one who can give me the version of what happened to the angel I didn't get to see,touch or even know he was there.

Maybe he would have my eyes,her hair, my nose,mouth and her smile and kindness. I need to hear it from Y'vania but she's still the uptight girl I know who hides her pain in smiles, jokes and acting as if nothing is really the matter.

I know it hurts her to see me like this but unlike her I can't seem to bottle things in for a long time.

"Y'vania. What is it? Talk to me."

She takes a deep breath and lets it out sitting against the wall and buries her head in her hands.

"What is it that you find so difficult?"

" If I tell you the truth you really want, will you still want to stay by my side?"

She doesn't lift her head up and her voice comes out muffled but I can feel how scared she is.

"Is it something bad you know I can take it."

"Okay. But promise me you won't hate me when I tell you." She says lifting her head up.

I'm getting impatient and at the same time scared. What if it's something that will break us apart.

"Just tell me I'll bear with it."
She nods and lifts up her knees encircling her hands around her legs and places her chin on them.

"You remember when Daniel asked you if you were one of the doctors who treated me?" I nod and she goes on

"If you had been there you'd have known what really happened. A few hours after waking up your daddy came in. I was alone my mummy had gone back home everyone was at ease knowing I was okay and Mia and my grandma were down at the canteen. He came in with another doctor the who told me that both of us were safe. First I didn't understand what ' both of us ' meant until I read the test results. I was two months pregnant.

The doctor went out but you dad remained and asked who the father was and after confirming it was you he smiled and seemed at ease. It looked like he had been holding something and he was letting go of it.

I thought he was happy with being a grandfather but he said something else that took me back. He said he couldn't believe it had to be me. I really didn't understand the meaning of his statement. I thought he was talking about the illness and I remember asking him if I was okay and he only shook his head and left.

I wanted to tell you about the baby but I didn't see you again and when I talked to my grandma that afternoon about our fight she got angry and had me transferred to another hospital.

Your father's statement still disturbed me but I pushed it aside everytime it came up and soon I forgot about it.

A day after coming to LA I started feeling dizzy and nauseous I had no appetite. That night I went to bed needing some rest after failing to put anything in my mouth. I lay down and whatever happened next I can't tell but I woke up in a hospital ten days later with Daniel by my side. When the doctor came in and delivered the news that the baby was no more he thought Daniel was the father and Javier was my brother. That's why everyone thought Daniel was my boyfriend at that time.

It really was painful and the nurse told me not to cry or I'll tamper with the surgery wound and It might end up open. I bottled up the pain and cried quietly knowing that my world had ended. The doctors talked to Daniel and when I asked him what they said he didn't want to tell me he didn't even want to look at me. I knew right away that he was hiding something and what struck me first is that the treatment didn't turn up successfully and I was still ill.

Daniel asked me the same question about the doctors but I couldn't answer him because I had no idea if you were among them. I don't know how he got your number or how he found out that it was at Miller Rosa hospital that everything went wrong.

When I got out of therapy a month after, I found out that I got injected with something called Captopil which turned out to be harmful to the baby. The question here was who gave it to me and were they not aware that I was pregnant when they did so?

Daniel did his research and found out about the doctors who treated me. That's when I remembered that statement about why it had to be me. It wasn't for a good aim or pity. No it was for resentment why it had to be me who ended up carrying his first grandchild.

It was your father who got rid of the baby."

"What?!"

I let go of her hand and take a few steps back not believing what she's just said.

I expected daddy to have said a few snide remarks to her but I didn't expect him to get rid of my son. I thought the story involved Y'vania herself deciding to terminate the pregnancy with all the ' I'm sorry's ' she's muttered since she came in.

"How can you..no this is..no"

I repeat shaking my head hoping this is all a dream that I'll wake up to forget about.

"Anthony. It's okay if you.."

"No. Don't..do not touch me! Get out."

As soon as those words are out of my mouth I regret saying them.

She backs off picking up her purse and heads to the door. I really don't want to see her go but this is too much for me to process at once.

She stands at the door and says

"Thank you for saving my life."

The door closes softly and that's when I realise am letting her go for the second time and am not sure if she's going to come back this time because there's nothing holding her back.