WHEN DADDY LEFT

Dear self voice 2

Y'vania's POV

Dear self voice,
I don't feel like talking to anyone right now. Home.. no scratch that. Life is boring.

No that's so cruel let me start over.

Dear self voice,
It's not fair. Everything isn't fair how can they leave without me?

Am complaining too much it's childish.

Okay I am starting over. Am serious now.

Dear self voice,
I'm a big girl now I should actually call myself an adult with a baby. The definition of an adult in this case means that I shouldn't cry even if Mia took Nisha to the opening of her fashion house and left me alone...ahem..with Elio, mum,abuela and the 'council' of Italian aunts and uncles because I'm in need of counselling.

Who knows maybe all I need is go out and get some fresh air and maybe get to interact with the handsome hipster guys who will appear at the Mia Angel fashion house. For all I know I am a single lady. A single mother.
Maybe all I need is to get to know people and laugh,eat,laugh,eat and know people again.

Am being an annoying brat once again.

All I need right now is to figure out everything on my own but it looks like I am not capable of that because dumb Y'vania got angry and knocked genius Y'vania into a coma and now am stuck with you dumb one and all you do is act like a messed up crazy woman and act all weird and scream loudly when you don't get the right answers.

Yes self voice it's not fair. Sitting around these people who think I am going crazy and I need a break.

Really?

A break?

What break do I need?

Maybe I need brakes instead.

Emergency brakes to stop this moving car of stupid happenings in my life.

Wherever I go

Whatever I do

Whenever I try to block them out of my life they creep back through the tiny holes I always forget to repair.

They keep on haunting me and accusing me of things that I can't think of doing. I can't tell why they always win because whenever they do so I always end up on the losing side.

No one trusts me.

Not even my own family.

People who have seen me growing up.

People who know my character.

People who brought me up.

People I put all my trust into ever since the day I was born.

Instead of trusting me they put me in the middle.

They set a meeting only to discuss me.

To criticize me.

To give me advice that I don't need.

To judge me.

They think my life is on a losing end.

Little do they know that all I need is something they can't give me.

Something they will never be able to mend.

Answers.

Or a time machine so that I could start over and skip all the painful parts.

They love my baby. He has this effect on everyone. Even aunt Lucretia. They were all over him the moment they set their eyes on him. Uncle Vin was asking if my baby is already baptised and if he had a saint name. I had to lie that yes he was baptized in the Catholic church. Uncle Luc asked if we let the priest bless our union and if Daniel and I are taking the holy communion. Again I lied yes we said our vows in front of the church and the priest blessed our union.