WHEN DADDY LEFT

Good at goodbyes

              Y'vania's POV

I learnt something today; that at some point in life you have to learn to let go of the people and things you love the most.

Its such an obvious thing I should've learned I don't know why am so dumb sometimes.

I'm seated in one of the posh malls in town(very sad of course) helping my friends with their shopping. Everyone is about to leave for college(I don't know why they had to move out of town)
So everyone has chosen to move to New York. I promised that I'll join them as soon as I get done with the treatment but I know its a lie. By the time I get done with this my family will be totally bankrupt that and the fact that am not a hundred percent sure that I'll be Aplastic anaemia free.

My friends and I have a big difference in social classes but I don't like them for their money and I've never taken advantage of their wealth. What I learnt is that life has to move on,dreams have to be achieved and their parents have to be proud of them at some point in life. They have to live their lives too.
Yes I feel bad that we are going to be away from each other and they also feel the same but everyone has their life to live.

The thing is I have to let go of them and live my life.

But how can I live my life when someone is keeping tabs on me. Someone I really wish I could love but I can't someone I wish could give me and my family a break.
When is this person going to give up on me but then this is all my fault no its my mouth's fault it said something it didn't have to say a grave secret but no its not because it had to be out someday I mean you can't just poison someone with their kid as a witness then 'erase' the kid's memory( which will obviously come back to normal with time) then expect it to be a grave secret.
That's what it is. That's the answer to her 'how much do you remember' question.
My memory is back to normal and of course with a sarcastic tone. She can't do a thing Javier my manager filed a restraining order.( wink wink)

"Oh little Faith we meet again I hope you'll give me the answers I need this time. I really hate your innocent face you know?"
"Feeling is mutual Lizzy."  I stopped calling her Nana because I want to piss her off and see what she's capable of.

"My question is still the same. How much do you remember from the past?"
"I came here to shop not to answer your silly questions." She mutters something I don't get to hear when Jake appears and comes towards us holding loads of shopping bags and smiling at me.
"Time to go I guess. Where are the others?" I ask completely ignoring my granny who stands there for while then walks away.

"Some old women have one brain cell and no manners at all."

"What did she do to you?"
"Who?" I ask back wondering when I'll stop thinking out loud.
"Your granny. I see you guys talk a lot these days. What are you planning?"
"Fight a lot. That's what we do. She's forcing me to say something I can't and I don't know what she's planning but I know its something horrible."  He drops his bags on the chair I was sitting on and runs a hand through his hair clenching his teeth angrily.
"Jeeesh calm down down dude she's not going to kill me."
"What? You know how she is right? The thing is why can't she leave the four of you alone and let you be just like it was before?"
"Someone doesn't kill your daddy in your presence then let you go without getting rid of the witness." I say quietly crossing my arms on my chest and smiling slightly as I spot Lilly and Matthew coming towards us bickering as usual.

I'm going to miss them.

I turn my gaze to Jake and as expected he's more than shocked and is staring at me like I'm some alien from another planet. I lightly punch his tummy careful not to damage my knuckles instead.
"She..she did it? She's the one? And why was she blaming your mummy?"
"Jake do murderers admit their faults? Its obvious she had to peg it on someone who is as quiet as my mummy."
"How do you know its her?" I let out a small sigh and turn my gaze back to Lilly and Matthew who are busy arguing on a bar of chocolate.

Three year olds.

"I hate talking about her Jake. What am worried is how far she can go with trying to blackmail people."
"I wish I was here to protect you little princess." My heart does this usual happy jump.
"Don't you ever worry about me Cutey pie just go to New York have fun, take care of yourself and Essie and everything is going to work out as it should." He nods and gives me a tight bear hug.

I know everything is going to be fine.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I reach for it smiling as I read through Anthony's text message.
"At least I know there's someone who will protect you." Jake says smiling.
"Next time tell your eyes to have some respect."
"Aww my little princess has grown up and is totally whipped up."
"Am not!" I shout cupping his mouth before he let's out some embarrassing words.
"Okay Mrs Esperanza and Mr
Anthony can we get going am hungry." Matt says with a huff.

"See you little Faith!" I almost snap my neck when I hear her voice again but I shrug it off getting myself busy with texting Anthony.

                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sad is an understatement of what am feeling right now. I still haven't figured out how am going to survive the whole year without my friends. I know I have Anthony by my side hope I'll get the courage to say the L word to him but Jake,Lilly and Matt are a different case and I can't picture the level of loneliness I'd be in.
"One more picture and Y'vania stop zoning in and out or I'll cut your face from the pics." Mia says jokingly but I know I haven't smiled in any of the pics.

Lilly stares at me and I know she about to hug me and start crying so I smile and mouth ' no crying ' she nods and starts smiling.
"Are you going to stop this creepy  talks? You are ruining our photo session." Matt says staring at me then Lilly who winks at him.
The photo session is soon over and Mia goes a few steps away to answer a phone call.
Jake stares at me with one of his looks that can get you running from your skin.
"What?" I ask fidgeting with the hem of my top.
"Y'vania you're are going to join us as soon as you get done with the treatment. That Anthony of a guy shouldn't manipulate you into staying here."
I smile lightly trying to hide the blush creeping up my face.
"He won't. Best friends first I can't forget. I..I really don't know how am going to live without you three idiots and please say hey to Essie I already miss her."
"Everything is going to be fine but if you change your mind we're going to come back and kidnap Tanisha. Get that right Nisha don't let her change her mind. If you play dumb you know what happens Matt says squishing Nisha's cheeks.
"As long as I don't miss any meal,Netflix and a phone you can kidnap me."
"No food,no movies no internet. Jake says in a serious tone. Nisha pouts and says
" Okay am sure she's not going to change her mind."

I know I won't change my mind but the situation my family is in will change it. I should start applying scholarships now or I'll kiss studying in New York goodbye. Nisha holds my hand and squeezes it staring deep into my eyes. I can already picture the conversation we're having in my head

"Maybe things are going to change. You'll make it to New York."
"Yeah let's hope so."

I know she's right because she knows the situation is critical. Mia is doing her best and not giving up same to mummy but the air smells of  worry and fear of losing everything. Mia gets done with her call and has this look I can't fathom as she keeps hiding it with jokes and the ' being good at goodbyes ' aura.