When daddy left

What about a thankyou

             Y'vania's POV

When Connor said Anthony needed someone to talk to or that his father wanted to talk to me I thought it was all a trap or some type of silly joke especially the Anthony getting into fights part. I didn't know it was something serious or that Anthony would come up with such a twisted version of the story. I wasn't aware he was capable of pinning all the blames on me.

People have different ways of grieving for their lost loved ones but what Anthony just uttered is unheard of okay maybe it is usual to some people but am not used to getting stabbed in the heart in such a manner.

I've never blamed anyone but myself for all the mistakes I've done and when I came to college it was for the aim of forgiving my soul and moving on. Mistakes were already done and pain inflicted on my life but I vowed to be strong and learn to let go. What happened next was unexpected and I was not prepared for such a turn out.

I've never tried to blame the people around me and when he came back I shoved all dark secrets and bad memories back into the corner of my head and decided to start afresh with him. I didn't question him about his life with my cousin or what's going on between them and their baby. He was the one who told me all about their separation story.

I didn't want to bring up the past in our life. I was holding onto whatever we had, fighting for the present and planning a better future. I didn't bring his father's crimes up because I know whatever the case he's still a part of his life. I can't just up and separate father and son. That is his decision to make and that's the reason why I didn't tell him exactly what happened to our son.

All I told him was I lost the baby and I didn't go on because I knew I was about to shatter someone's life into pieces that cannot be moulded again.

A month and three weeks. That's the exact time I spent thinking I lost him after the Ocean point incident. When he came back I was so glad I felt complete again.

They say space mends things up but it just made me sick until the day I met him at a dinner when he held me close and showed me that the  past doesn't matter to him. We started afresh that day it's like I fell in love with him again. I learnt that no matter what, he loves me and I made a promise not to ever forget that.

It took him two weeks to come back to me again with a sick kind of story. The moment he uttered those words I felt like a sucker punch had been thrown on my face rendering me breathless.

I don't know what to say to him I don't have the correct response to his statement.

"Is that a yes Y'vania? Does that silence say it all?" He asks in a very weak voice that makes me snap my head and look at him. He looks broken ,vulnerable and weak his blue eyes shades darker from what I can't pin as anger or sadness.

"Just tell me you didn't do it Y'vania. I..I can't.."

His voice breaks as his knees drop on the floor and his hands tug at mine just the way a toddler holds on to their parents at a candy store.

He starts talking but his voice gives up to quiet sobs. He's hurting. I know he is but this isn't all about me defending myself it's about him trusting me.

I hold him by his shaking shoulders trying to calm him down but it doesn't seem to be easy when my eyes are also tearing up and my breathing is shaky.

I try to lift him to a standing position but my body gives up too and we both end up on the floor of his hotel room.

I cup his face and force him to look at me but his eyes are tightly shut and he's shaking his head, tears staining his face and my palms. His pink lips quivering and his hair in a hot mess.