When daddy left

Ghost

  Y'vania's POV (reflection pt2)

Afew days after,he still loves you. Weeks go by and it's still the same,he loves you so you know you did the right thing. He still treasures you for letting him be the first man to make love to you.

Nothing is wrong life is so cool but one afternoon you get the shocker of your life; that his father killed your father and tried to inject you to amnesia because you saw it. Courtesy of your big mouthed cousin who you'd long forgotten about.

You realise he's the enemy but then it's too late for you to tell anyone. Your health condition gets the better of you and you come around after a week only to find out out that you are carrying his child. It's already two months long. It's obvious you didn't see the signs  earlier because you mistook it for the illness. You missed your period for the past two months  but yes you blamed it on the illness. At that time you were so much in love to realise everything in you is changing.

You feel like you should drift back into the coma you've been in when your eyes adjust to the unbelievable pregnancy test results. Yeah you finally fought aplastic anaemia but now there's another obstacle facing you. Raising a baby knowing that you're never going to be with it's father anymore.

Many thoughts will definitely cross your mind,abortion is the biggest of them all because you want  to go to college and act like nothing happened. You don't want to be a mother at such an early age.

After days of thinking you finally  make up your mind. The baby is innocent it isn't a part of your falling out  with him. You are going to keep it but as soon as it comes to the world you are going to give it away.

You decide to leave town just to avoid the judgement and questions. Days after leaving town you start feeling strange. It's about five months give or take you even know you're going to have a son,you feel him growing inside you. After days of feeling unwell you wake up on a hospital bed and get another shocker of your life. You lost the baby. They had to remove him while you were unconscious. He's really dead.

You break apart,cry your heart out at the same time suppressing the pain on that surgery wound which doesn't heal quickly if you add a load of emotions on it.

You have a scar that will forever remind you of him, of your mistakes, that will of course hinder you from your favourite crop tops and high waist jeans for a while. These and many thoughts hurt you and in the end you realise that you have to step into therapy rooms.

You get the worst mental breakdown. You think you are going to die. You live on white,blue and yellow pills that try to block the world from you. All you do is sleep all day and stay awake watching night turn into day crying and watching the stars as they blur in and out of your vision. Sometimes it gets worse to the point where you take an overdose of the pills in order for you to fall asleep and not feel the pain tormenting your insides.

After weeks of downing pills you decide enough is enough life has to go on so you get up and start your life but luck doesn't seem to be on your side because that's when he comes in like a ghost. He comes back into your life just to break you apart, just to let you know that he's  dating your cousin and they have an upcoming baby in the line. You get shattered for the millionth time but as matured as you have come to be,you shove all this pain in the furthest corner of your heart and forget about him. Something in you says that you still want him but the matured side of you shuts it up.

He goes away and comes back again. What a ghost. This time he comes back with a new story that he wants you back,that your cousin was a liar and they're separated. You pretend that you don't want to buy that story but deep inside, you know he's poisoned your mind,he's intoxicated every part of you.

In between forgetting him and living your life you meet a young man, he's so cute,with a British accent. He's really hot like a hundred percent hot. You get to know him and you become best of friends. He asks you out and you say yes just because he's cute and charming and not because you love him because you are not sure about that.

One thing leads to another and your ex of a ghost learns about the baby and you have alot of explaining to do about how your baby died due to a harmful drug that was injected into your blood system during the aplastic anaemia treatment back at home but you can't say all that to him. That's for him to figure out. He says he still loves you despite all the drama going on.

You can't say you love him back because  first you have the British guy still in mind, second you are so angry for all that he's done  to your life and third you know that letting go off him is the best choice in life.

After such a long time of repeating the same mistake you finally want to make a change for the better but oh no its too late and here you are, back at square one with a grand mum who is back at it again with spreading personal family matters to the media just so that you can follow her orders.