Consumed By You |Shawn Mendes|

Everything Is You

I don't know why I ended up at Shawn's hotel, but here I was standing in front of the entrance of his hotel looking up at the sky saying a silent prayer.

Once I gained the confidence I much needed, I fixed my self and I began walking up the small steps and into the beautiful hotel lobby.

"Hi can I help- omg your, your, shit!" Was all I heard the front clerk say and it caught me off guard for a moment.

I wasn't use to being 'noticed'.

I smiled and I put my hand on her arm to try to calm her down and she just started laughing uncontrollably and cursing in a low level.

"I'm so sorry i just, I'm a huge fan of your work and all the amazing things you've been doing in the plus size community. Ehrm how can I help you?" She said fixing herself and getting back to normal.

"Well your very welcome and thank you for the support honey. Um I was just stopping by to see a friend." I said suddenly feeling embarrassed and hoping she didn't know who I was referring too.

She seemed to already know who I was referring to but she didn't seem to judge. She smiled and she just nodded for me to go towards the elevator.

I silently said thank you and I headed toward the elevator and once again I was ripped in nerves the moment I stepped into the elevator.

What was I even doing here?

Just a few days ago I told him I needed time, but after he brought me to my apartment and he just stood outside my apartment door waiting till i was safe inside I just wanted to kiss him and get lost in him.

But I didn't, I just went to shower and I laid in bed trying to get him off my mind.

But it all failed.

Then the conversation between me and Rose just gave me a little more clarity.

I didn't know exactly what I was going to do when I saw him, I hadn't gotten that far because if I did overthink I wouldn't do anything and I would regret everything.

So here I am.

I stood standing in front of his door and I realized I was literally a shaking wreck.

I took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

I thought I would pass out, I kept shaking my hands to get the feeling back that seemed to keep leaving.

No answer.

I tried three more knocks.

Nothing.

I thought about texting him but I quickly pushed that thought to the side. I started to feel like a crazy stalker just popping up to his hotel unannounced.

I began walking toward the elevator and then I saw him exiting the elevator with two of his friends and two girls.

He saw me and he stopped making everyone else behind him halt.

One of the girls grabbed on to his arm, she was drunk and the other was on his friends arm laughing loudly.

Brian and the other friend I remember from Toronto saw me and they were all seemingly drunk, except Shawn. They looked at me and grew quiet.

I looked at shawn and then at the girl who was holding his arm and just like she could hear my thoughts she quickly removed her hand away from his arm.

"Yvette. What are you doing here? Everything okay?" Shawn said running his fingers through his hair and holding a brown paper bag.

I looked at him and I didn't know how to feel about this moment I knew what I saw but I didn't know what was a fact. I didn't know how I should react.