Sweetest Whatever

Chapter 37: Cliff

Chapter 37: Cliff

Megan Dalton

I kept staring at my lockscreen. We looked so happy back then. Right by that sunset when I realized I truly loved him.

There is this guy and I love him so much. He puts the brightest smile on my face and he also is the one responsible for all the tears. How can I move on if I'm still in love with him? There's only one way out and that is, to accept everything.

There is this guy, and he was the star-crossed love of my life. He made me believe in things I never believed in. He made me stronger than I ever was. He told me he loved me every second he got.

And now... He's gone.

I sat on the same spot and the nurses had already dispersed. My dad is still with me, hugging me. He doesn't say anything but he just held me close.

"Come on, let's get you home now, Meg," my dad told me but I shook my head.

"Come on now, pumpkin. You can't stay like this forever," but I cried harder than before, "Y-you don't understand, dad! You don't understand h-how it feels to lose the one you love!"

I heard dad sigh. I knew he understands. He was left by mom.

In this photograph, we looked so happy and in love. We used to tease each other about this but now, it pains me to see that this vivid memory could only be seen in a photograph of us.

"Let's just go anywhere you want," dad said and I was already walking for the door.

---

There is this one place I want to come to. That one place when I realized what I felt. The moment where everything was true and nothing was a lie.

The cliff.

I know, I don't want to be here. I used to hate going here but now, it's the only fucking place I can run to.

"We're here as you requested," dad said, sitting on the driver's seat of my Audi, "I'll stay here," absentmindedly, I nodded. I managed to hook up my headphones without breaking down. Even if I'm depressed, I kept playing the songs we used to sing.

And then, absentmindedly, I got out of the car and walked towards the edge of the cliff with my headphones booming to 5 Seconds of Summer's The Only Reason.

Don't talk, let me think it over. How we gonna fix this? How we gonna undo all the pain?

How do I do this on my own now that you left me, annoyance?

Tell me, is it even worth it? Looking for a straight line. Taking back the time we can't replace.

I'm near the place where you tricked me, you idiot. I did this for you and our memories.

All the crossed wires, just making us tired. Is it too late to bring us back to life?

Too late.

I'm at the edge and I close my eyes.

When I close my eyes and try to sleep I fall apart, I find it hard to breathe. You're the reason, the only reason.

You're the reason why I smile. You're the reason why I cry. You're the reason why I live. You're the reason why I have the biggest smiles on my face. The reason why I laugh so hard. The reason why I changed.

The reason why I believed in love again.

Even though my dizzy head is numb, I swear my heart is never giving up. You're the reason, the only reason.