Love sweet like sugar- lxreader

Please Eat (L x Anorexic! Reader)

⚠️TW//: This oneshot contains the topic of Anorexia and Bulimia. If you are sensitive/ easily triggered, it's suggested to skip.⚠️

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I sat at my desk working and highlighting stuff that could be useful in the case.

"Hey (y/n) we are going to get some lunch want to join?" Matsuda offered

"Hm? No thanks I'm not hungry" I smiled

"Okay we'll be back soon" he said grabbing his coat and walking out with Aizawa, light and of course Misa.

I nodded and went back to my work, but I couldn't help but feel L watching me.

"Is there something wrong" I looked at him

"You tell me." He sighed sipping his tea

"Nothings wrong... I lost my coupons for the grocery store so that was a bummer..." I looked down at the papers

L sat silently and got up to go to the kitchen.

When he left my stomach started to rumble and I clutched it hoping it wouldn't or stop.

I reached into my bag and drank water so hopefully that would be enough to stop.

L had walked in and sat besides me again but didn't seem like he thought anything because he proceeded to act normal and eat his sweets and work.

I sighed and finished the water and toss the empty plastic bottle into the trash.

"That's recyclable." He said popping a gum drop into his mouth.

"Okay?" I shrug.

"It's supposed to go into recycling." He points at the trash bin across the room.

"Okay..." I lock eyes with him as we both are just staring at each other.

"Why does it matter".

"It's better for the environment." He said blandly.

I finally give in as I roll my eyes and pick up the water bottle and stand up.

My hands are shaking and so are my legs.

I walk over to the trash and even though it's just L in the room I still feel self conscious just walking.

As I was about to drop the water bottle into the trash I see it's completely full of just plastic water bottles.

"How am i supposed to throw it away if it's full" I turn around to see L standing behind me.

"These are all yours (y/n). This is only a weeks worth" he started out "You have been getting thinner as well and you look more tired and shaky, you don't go out for lunches anymore and your here early every morning. Also here until the late hours. You are also in the bathroom for long periods of time and when you come out you look even more tired and shaky.".
His dark eyes where making eye contact with me, and with every word he said, was trying to see how I would react or respond.

"You know what I think (y/n)" he spoke again
"You drink all those waters to feel full. Your tired due to all the restless nights you lay awake shaking and cold. You no longer go out to eat with your coworkers because you don't want them to think something is wrong, or you worry about the calories in the meals you eat. You get here early because you couldn't sleep well and are hungry but want your work to distract you from the hungry, you do the same at night, you want to be here as long as possible so when you get home you have no energy for eating. The days you eat a proper meal you excuse yourself and leave to the bathroom and don't leave after a period of time. Your face usually is slightly puffy along with a bit of red your eyes are tired and you walk out more weak. I think. You have an eating disorder. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I know I'm not." He said emotionless just watching me

I didn't want to look him in the eyes hearing every word he said because he wasn't wrong.

My eyes started to get watery as I start to shake.

I didn't know what to do. Say that he was right and I'm torturing myself, not letting myself be happy but telling myself this is the right thing to do and it will make me happy?

Telling myself throwing up constantly is fine.

Telling myself not to eat is fine.

Telling myself everything I'm doing to myself is for the best and it will make me happy is fine.

Not being able to sleep is fine.

Constantly sobbing and crying for someone to help is fine.

Forcing myself to do this no matter how much I hate this and how much I want this to stop so badly is fine.

I was clutching so hard onto my stomach it was starting to make my skin red as tears fell.

L noticed this and put his arms around me and pulled me into a hug.

"I want to stop this L i do!" I cried into his shirt. "It's so hard though, like no matter how much I want to stop I just can't!" I held onto him tightly.

I could feel him just standing there not saying anything while he hugged me.

I want to eat but everything I have food in my hands I just reject it. I lose my appetite every time I decide to eat. I can't eat. It hurts it really does but I just keep on staving myself because that makes me happy?! I want this all to fucking stop and I want to eat again but I can't I fucking hate this! but I still starve myself. I still make myself throw up. And I still don't eat" I sobbed into his shirt clutching onto him so tightly

"I'm sorry about that (y/n). I am. But you do need some help about this. Starving yourself isn't healthy. There could be millions of reasons why your doing this but none of them are right. Now please, let me help you with this. I can't bare seeing you like this for any longer. Your so beautiful and you don't need to do this to yourself and I don't want you to be feeling this or doing any of these." He held me close to his chest and stroked my hair.

I continued to cry into his chest wishing he wasn't the worlds best detective and being able to figure me out so quickly.

I backed away and rubbed my face trying to get rid of all the tears.

"I want to help you (y/n), I want you to be happy. Please let me help you." He said holding my shoulders and looking at me in the eye.

I could barely answer him with out choking up so I just nodded wiping the tears off my face.

"Okay then. Now first we should go to the doctors because ending this addiction of yours won't be solved just by eating like nothing ever happened. So let's get a check up and see what we can do." He said tucking hair behind my ear and wiping the tears away as I nodded.

"And (y/n)?" He looked at me in my eyes as I looked at him.

"Y-Yeah?" I wiped my face again.

"I love you...and I really want you to get better" his face getting slightly red as he looked away little by little.

I blushed before smiling softly, wrapping my arms around his shoulders I pull him into a hug. "Thank you L, I love you too and I'm glad you care so much" I sniffed

He smiled softly before hugging me back.

•I'm back you guys~ I have been trying to write better and I hope I'm getting better at writing and i hope you enjoy my comeback, oh and I won't be able to update daily because of reasons but I hope y'all are fine with that lol okay bye bye!•