Part 188

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Hello, I miss you quite terribly.

I'm not the girl your mother warns you about. I won't kiss your bestfriend or break your heart. I won't make you choose between what you love to do and me. I'm not cold. I'm not reckless. I will love you more than anything. I will kiss you when you cry. I will stand by you until you decide otherwise.

And I thought I was okay but last night I bit my tounge so hard I bled all over my shirt, and a few days ago I burnt myself trying to light my cigarette. I thought it was by accident but maybe it wasn't. Maybe I'm not okay. Maybe I still miss you.

I smile and laugh and tell you, "I'm fine" But then I go home and lay in bed and think, and I realize I'm not fine. -e.l.

I wonder what people say about me when I'm not around.

I'm sorry that holding your hand won't stop you from swallowing a bottle of pills. I'm sorry that kissing you won't stop you from pressing a blade to your skin. I'm sorry that telling you I love you won't make the voices in your head go away. I'm sorry I can't save you from yourself. -Though I Really Wish I Could, I'm Sorry.

I wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.

You aren't a waste of my time. You're such a perfect arrangement of atoms.

Stop saying it's okay when your soul's bleeding. Stop trying to dodge knives that always end up in the depths of your heart. Stop looking at the ceiling hoping the tears won't overflow. Stop taking peoples shit. Walk away. Fuck them all. -Self advice, E.B.

Why can't Mother Nature just send me a text once a month saying: "You're not pregnant"? -My cousin

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