Reunited (Sequel to Soulmates)

.16.

I have a major headache the next morning when I wake up and notice that I'm not alone in bed. Lauren is lying next to me, almost on me, but I don't mind. I love her with all of my heart and she's the only person who can make me smile at the moment. Just thinking about Beca hurts. I know I have hurt her like a million times right now, but I didn't know that I was this crazy about her. Or did I? Did I knew I was in love with her, but didn't wanted to act on them because of Tom and the whole pregnancy? Maybe I was just scared to go to that point with her, because most relationships who started from friends, are breaking up eventually and after that they aren't friends anymore. I didn't wanted to ruin our friendship. I kiss Lauren on her head, which causes her to snuck on me even more. Even tho Lauren is Tom's daughter, she looks like me for the most part and I'm happy with that. She starts to stir a little and opens her eyes.
,,Good morning mommy." She says and my heart warms itself with love.
,,Good morning sweetheart, are you feeling better than yesterday?"
,,I am, because you have sent Chicago away last night." 
,,You really don't like him huh?"
,,No. He's trying to steal you away from Beca."
,,But sweetheart, Beca and I are not together romantically."
,,Not yet, but you will right?"
,,I don't know. Chicago is still looking for her." 
,,He will find her, because she's alive." I keep quiet. Lauren loves Beca and I don't want to upset her. Beca might be alive, but she can be dead too. It's really scary to think about it.
,,Do I hear my favorite little person awake?" My door opens and Amy walks in together with Aubrey.
,,Goodmorning aunt Amy." Says Lauren, but keep lying next to me.
,,Goodmorning little Beale." Amy grabs her phone and takes a picture of Lauren.
,,Why did you take my picture?" 
,,Well, I was going to send it to Beca." Now I sit upright.  
,,Did they find her?"
,,No, but I have other ways to see if she's alive or not." She gives us a wink. Lauren sits up and looks to Amy.
,,How?"
,,Well," start Amy and sits next to her, but also close to me, so I can watch everything too. ,,first I type a message and then I'll send her your picture."
,,But how will you know if she wants to see me? She likes mommy."
,,True story, but she loves you too Lauren. I never have seen her so close to a child before, so that says a lot." I see Lauren smile proudly. I go back to the beginning. Beca was there at her birth, not literally but still... she Skyped with me so she could support me. And she took care of us without us knowing. I know I was mad first, but not anymore. I wish I could tell her that myself.
,,Can I send Beca a message too?" I ask Amy and she turns to me.
,,If you want to, but I'm not sure she will react." I know what Amy means. I have broken Beca's heart like a million times, but I know what I want now. I love her and I always did, but I didn't wanted to accept that. I just hope Beca can forgive me and give me a second, no wait, third chance. ,,Look at this message Lauren." Amy yells, breaking my thoughts. I look at the message too.

Amy: Yo short shank, look at how cute your daughter is!

She really misses you, can you come back please. We rescued Chloe and you should be with your family 😉
Just text me back, so I know you're still alive.

Wait, Beca's daughter?! Lauren is my daughter.
,,Why did you say that Lauren is her daughter?" I ask Amy.
,,Because she will be after you and Beca are married." Now Lauren turns to me.
,,Are you really going to marry Beca?" I see a face full of hope. She really wants Beca as her second mother. 
,,I don't know if she's alive and wants to marry me too." 
,,Mommy, why can't you just say it? I know you like her!" 
,,Sweetheart, I don't want to give you false hope. If Beca is dead -"
,,She isn't dead!" Now Lauren stands up and faces me with tears in her eyes. ,,She promised to come back to us!" And she runs into the bathroom, while locking the door. I know she's sad that Beca isn't here, but I need to be honest with her. All of us know that there might be a chance that Beca won't come back at all, but I need to prepare Lauren for that. If Chicago comes with that bad news, Lauren isn't the only one that will be devastated. I get up and walk to the closed bathroom door.
,,Lauren? Can you please open the door?"
,,No, you're just going to say that Beca might be dead."
,,But sweetheart, I need to be honest with you. I'm only telling things to prepare you. I would never hurt your feelings on purpose. Can you please let me in?" It's quiet for a few minutes, but then the door opens and I get inside. Lauren is standing in front of me crying. Great job Chloe, you just made your daughter cry! ,,You know Chicago is looking for her right?"
,,He's not looking good enough! He's only trying to impress you."
,,I told him to stop doing that. I told him that I am in love with Beca and that I want to be with her again."
,,Really?"
,,Yes, because it's true." I sigh for a second. ,,Sweetheart, there is a chance that they won't find her or they find her body. It can happen that she's dead. We all keep hope, but we're all afraid of that one sentence."
,,But she promised to come back." 
,,And if she does, we will welcome her with open arms, but you need to prepare yourself for bad news too. I know that it's hard to do so, but there will be more things in life that are hard. If we stick together we can face them." Now Lauren starts to cry again and fall into my arms. 
,,I'm sorry mommy." Is the only thing she says.
,,It's okay. I love you, no matter if you're mad at me or make mistakes." I hold her for minutes until Aubrey walks in.
,,Guys, I think you want to hear this too." She only says and I let go of my daughter. Lauren grabs my hand and together we're walking back to the bedroom. Not only Chicago is standing there, but all the other bellas too and I know this isn't going to be good news. I stand next to Stacie and Cynthia-Rose, with Lauren in front of me. Chicago looks to me.
,,We have been looking for days now in the water, but we couldn't find her. I'm sorry, but there's no sign of Beca." My mouth opens itself because of the shock and I look to the other bellas. They're just as sad as me. Beca is dead! Is the only thought that comes into my head. She hasn't survived the explosion. She's dead and it's my fault! 
,,No, you're lying!" Yells Lauren and holds me close. Chicago walks to her and wants to put his hand on her shoulder, but she slaps his hand away. ,,Don't touch me!" I know she doesn't like him, but I don't want her to do this.
,,Lauren." I only say, but she doesn't want to know it. 
,,No mommy, he wants to steal you away from Beca and you're letting him!" 
,,Lauren, we talked about this and you know how much Beca means to me. I know you're sad that they can't find her, but we have to accept that she's gone." I say and disappear from the bedroom. I can't handle this anymore! I need a drink! I grab the bottle Bourbon from the cupboard where all the drinks are stored. Lauren doesn't know about this and I don't want her to know. I grab a Whiskey glass out of the cupboard with all the water and juice glasses and pour the Bourbon all the way into the top. Normally you only will do a little in a glass, because the alcohol percentage is 51%, but I really don't care about that percentage right now. Bourbon is the favorite alcoholic drink of Beca, but I just can't drink a little now. I just heard that she's dead! I completely empty the glass and feel it burning. Maybe I was a little hash on Lauren, but she knows how I feel about Beca. She needs to understand that she's gone and this time for good.