You Don't See [h.s] ✔️

35

It obviously had to start raining while I was waiting for the bus. I'm sitting on the bench, at the bus stop, that has no cover to prevent the rain from wetting me.

It took a while to walk here, I've been sitting for twenty minutes and the bus was supposed to be here five minutes ago so I guess it's delayed.

The longer I wait for the bus, I feel like it's a sign that I made the wrong decision. A sign that I need to say goodbye to Harry or overall, leaving is a bad idea.

I tuck my knees up to my chest and rest my head on my knees. I scream in irritation. What am I doing? How could I leave Harry like that? It's not right. I need to say goodbye, but I'll miss the bus. Fuck!

I hear feet thumping into the water on the pathway as they near me. I keep my head down in hopes that the person doesn't try and communicate with me.

The footsteps stop and I think they somehow disappeared until I hear heaving breathing. My head snaps up.

"Bailey," he exhales in a breathe, he's standing three feet away from me. His hair is wild, drenched and his white shirt is damp and sticking to his skin.

I swallow the lump in my throat as I quickly stand from my seat, "Harry," I look at the ground.

"Why?" His voice cracks and it causes me to look up at him. His eyes are filled with sadness, hurt, a little bit of anger  and it makes my heart clench. "Why didn't you ask if I was coming? Why didn't you say goodbye?"

"Haz-" I start in a quiet voice but gets interrupted by his raising voice.

"Don't Haz me," he clenches his jaw, "why did you just fucking leave Bailey?" He hisses.

"B-because I thought it was a good idea," I try to keep my voice calm.

He pulls at his hair, "why would you think that's a good idea?"

"I don't know! I don't like goodbyes, I didn't, I didn't want to say goodbye to you. Made me think I'd never see you again, and I don't want that," I whisper the last part.

He's eyes soften slightly and his volume lowers a fraction when he speaks, "I woke up this morning and you weren't in bed. Mum told me you were with Gemma and I thought I was so lucky you didn't up and go. Went for a jog, returned home and I still hadn't seen you, mum had me sit down and she told me what you told her. I couldn't believe it Bailey, I laughed it off, but when I found out it was true I couldn't breathe. I was panicking, smashing things, yelling at mum then I sprinted here. I woke up this morning not knowing that you were going to leave me! Did you want it to be this way?"

It's my turn to pull at the roots of my hair, "n-no! I didn't think it through. I didn't think, I thought it would be easier," I squeeze my eyes shut and squeak out, "I'm sorry."

I keep my eyes closed as Harry puts his arms around my shoulders. I put my arms loosely around his waist and put the top of my head on his chest so I end up looking at the ground.

He softly speaks, "just don't go," the rain fills the silence between us as he speaks again, "stay longer, just wait and then I'll come with you."

I shake my head against him and pull back, "I don't want you coming with me Harry," a frown takes over his face, "you just can't, you can't leave. You have a life here and I don't want to interfere more than I have already. I shouldn't be in it," I pull my arms away from him but he grabs my wrists.

"I want you in it Bailey, I need you in it! Please," he begs, "you can't leave me like this."

I put my hands on his chest while he keeps them in his hold, "when you first came into my life, it was a hard time and... I hated you. But now, this different side of you, I wish I met him first Harry," my vision starts going blurry with tears, "it could have been so much different, we could have been different. If you were this way in my life ages ago, it would have helped and I wouldn't want to leave now," the back of my eyes are burning and Harry's start to water, "but we can't change the past and I'm so thankful for this time with you, Harry."

I look over his shoulder and see the bus slowly coming down the street. As the rain gets louder I have to speak louder, "I'm so thankful for everything. You helped me so much, you saved me. But Harry I need time, I need to get away, need my head cleared, space," he shakes his head and I have to blink away my tears, "you've taught me so much. You taught me that there's a positive side, taught me happiness," I see the bus getting closer.

I slide one of my hands to where his shoulder and neck meets and the other to the side of his face, rubbing my thumb over his cheek softly. "I've realised you also taught me something else," tears slowly fall from my eyes as I smile softly, "you've taught me how to love."

He lets out a noise from the back of his throat and at that moment the bus is pulling up. When he sees the bus, he let's his tears fall, blending in with the rain. I quickly kiss his cheek, catching the first tear then I kiss the side of his mouth before walking backwards.

He lets go of my wrists and opens his mouth to say something but nothing is coming out. I grab my bags and walk towards the bus. I step onto the bus as Harry grabs wrist to turn me around.

"N-no, don't go. We'll figure something out. Please baby, please stay with me," his hands grip my face to put our foreheads together.

"I can't," I breathe out, barley audible and step away from him. He stands there still until he realises I'm not coming back and steps away from the bus.

I sit on the side close to him and look out the window. He's staring at me, breaking down right in front of me with just a window and some rain separating us.

I nod my head at him, put my hand on the window and mouth words I didn't think I'd say for a long time, 'I love you'.

He shakes his head and turns away from me, running his hands along his face. The bus starts moving and he didn't realise it. We keep getting further away from each other before he turns and observes that there isn't a bus in front of him.

He starts running after me, but it's no use. When he knows he can't catch up, he falls to his knees and puts his head in his hands.

He stays there in the rain, getting left behind. I sit here in wet clothes, leaving him behind.

I leave this bad life behind, the bad people, the bad memories. I'm leaving it all. I'm getting out of this town to live the life I should have.

And when I return, if I return, I don't know if things are going to be the same.