You Don't See [h.s] ✔️

29

We don't go home straight after Harry asks. Obviously we had to wait until he was capable of driving.

We sat next to each other on the front steps, knees touching. A few people stopped to talk to Harry as they were passing, some girls giving me dirty looks but I couldn't give a fuck. Yeah, be jealous. We just kissed bitches!

About the kiss, I can't decide if it was wrong or not. Will he kiss me again? Will things be normal? Will things be different? I don't know. I don't want to kiss again. While the kiss was great, I regret it. Harry is helping me practically survive life, we can't be kissing. I hope it's because of the alcohol and not anything else. Yeah that's right. We had too much to drink.

Now we are quietly heading up to Harry's room. I'm following behind him up the stairs as I trip over. I try to grab onto something which ended up being the hem of Harry's jeans. I fall down to one knee with a thud and Harry stumbles down a few steps until he is next to me.

"Don't fuckin' kill me and shut up," he whisper-yells at me.

"You shut up," I pull myself up and take a few steps up before looking at him, "fuck you for being there, I could have fallen to my death," I walk for Harry's room and enter.

Harry comes in right behind me, closing the door and walking to stand in front of me, "sometimes I think you say fuck you instead of thank you."

I tap my fingers on my chin to pretend I'm thinking, "hm, I know the difference," I give him a fake smile.

"Whatever," he rolls his eyes, "you be like that," he sighs and walks into his closet.

I mumble, "I will fucking be like that," and walk to my pyjamas.

Harry stalks out of his closet without a shirt on and I raise my eyebrows at him, "you don't have to be like that!"

"Yes I do!"

"Change your attitude for once. Your not with Mark, you're here. You don't have to be so down all the time," he tilts his head.

"Anything the opposite of being down was gone a long time ago."

"Well you can change that. Be happy while your here?" He turns it into a question.

"Not possible," I'm growing heavily irritated by him at the moment, how did the topic change to this?

"Why!" He yells in frustration.

"Because any happiness I had in me died in that car with my family!" I scream.

I sink to sit on the floor with my head on my knees and my arms around myself, I feel my heart stop and pick up pace 1000 times faster. Then pain returns, it's happening again. Great, just what I needed.

I look up to Harry through my pained expression, gasping for air as tears silently escape, "are, are you happy n-now? Huh? Anything I h-had before, before they died is gone! All g-gone," I try to say, letting out a strangled scream at the end.

Harry is immediately picking me up and heading for his bathroom. Of course he knows what is happening and what to do, why wouldn't Maria have told him?

He holds me tightly against his bare chest as I pinch my eyes closed. He turns on the bath tap before stepping in with my. He sits with his legs stretched out and places me so I'm curled up against him, my head on his shoulder.

"Shh, love. Breathe," he rocks me slightly, "c'mon baby, calm down." The way he murmurs baby against my hair gives my butterflies that I don't want.

After Harry actually manages to settle me down and turn the water off, the water managed to get up to my waist. I lied to Harry. Not all my happiness is gone, I don't want to admit. Harry is my happiness.