ATM 1:A Total Mess (FBS#1)

Chapter 9

Alone In Life (Her Side)

Sam's POV

After our conversation which I can't call one, I quickly got up to my bed and starts remembering what just happened to me 2 years ago and being alone in life.

I really can't imagine how I bear the new feelings I felt when I was new in living my life alone, without my mum and dad, my friends, and him.

I used to have him by my side since we got married. And since then, my nightmares faded away as he enters my life. He was sweet , kind and gentleman that suites his name.

He made me slept every night without fear of having that bad dream again cuz just remembering his face before I fell asleep makes me peaceful.

But all of a sudden, my whole life became a total mess when that night came.

I decided to leave the country but when I told dad about my plan, he threw so many questions and didn't seem to have any idea about what I'm feeling right at that moment.

When he asked me why all of a sudden I want to leave the country I just told him that I want a high standard education.

He didn't let me but I already made up my mind and even if he didn't agree, I will go there.

And when I got there, I first live in one of the rest house of Angelo there. I actually didn't agreed to that but what can I do?! I made my dad mad about this whole thing and I basically didn't want to get him more angry to me so I decided to just live where he wants me to. And that bastard insists, too.

In London, I just focused myself in study. After a few more months, I became popular to the University I am in although I didn't aimed for it. Many suitors came and people that wants to be my friend but I declined all of them. I didn't made any friends there until Jake came, one of my suitors back then. We ended up as a best of friends. He introduced me in all his friends and there I met Jesse, Lian, Kate, April, Tom, Ken, John, Mark, and Steve. Ken and Steve are also my suitors before. So it's very awkward when we first hang out.

But right now, they are all for me, especially Jake. We're not together or dating(just a friendly date) and when I told Angelo that he's my Boyfriend is that I was just messing with him and it's all up to his interpretation about Jake as my Boy friend. Haha. I half lie there.

My group of friends there knows my whole story. I'd open up to them when I became dependent of them. Dependent, as I longing for my family and friends here but being Independent as I tried and successfully moved on from him.

Yes! I hate it but honestly, that time I fell for him. Hard. I was inlove with him. It really pains me before thinking that he was just being sweet and all to me because of fearing that I might tell my parents and his about all his jerkiness .

But he's wrong. And I was, too. I wasn't blaming all to him, cuz I know that partly, it was my fault, too. I fell for a guy without even thinking of the rumors I'd heard when I was in that hell of a University. I didn't listen to the others saying he'll just hurt me so I should stay away from him and run while I still can. Apparently, he did. He did broke me.

But, I've already gone through that so might as well go back to reality that was slapping in front of me.

I'd just faced my fear. My fear of hurting myself again once I saw him once more. So, I really am happy that I did it. I did stand more stronger in front of him than I am inside. And it kills me when I forgot about me being afraid of blood. It wrecked all things up. That fear just walked through the walls I built and put it down, making it worse that he saw how fragile I am. Cuz honestly saying, I'm weaker than the weakest.