No Filter

Chapter XXXII (32)

I stood in front of my mother's casket in one of the rooms of the church. I stare at her face. Her skin was lighter and more pale. Her bones were more visible. She smelled of her favorite perfume, and I loved the scent.

I wish I could talk to her. I would tell her how happy I grew up with a mother like her. She wasn't supposed to leave me yet. She was supposed to live, be the person I talked to. She was supposed to live to see her grandchildren some day. She was supposed to wait until I'm done with high school to let go. She was supposed to be there at my graduation, in the crowd, taking multiple pictures of me, Dinah, Camila, Lauren, and Normani.

"Ally," I hear Camila's soft voice. I turn around and see her standing by the doorway. "Your cousins want to speak with you."

I nod my head and follow Camila out of the room. She leads me into the lobby, and I spot two of cousins standing like the rest of crowd in the room. I greet my cousins, Demi and Selena, "Hi." They both gave me a hug — first, Demi and then, Selena.

"Ally," Selena said with a smile. "It's been so long since I've seen you. We both were devastated when we heard what happened."

"How are you feeling?" Demi asks.

"Not the best if I'm being honest," I answer. I look at Camila and smile a little. "Camila and the girls have been there for me." Camila smiles and wraps her arms around me. I pat her cheek gently, just like how my mom used to do to me.

"The last time we saw you, you were with Liam. Where is he?" Selena asks.

I sigh heavily. "He is not here. He is with his fiancé."

"Fiancé?" Demi questions. "He's getting married? To whom?"

Camila releases her arms. I swallowed before I explain, "That's a long story. You guys don't know her. But long story short, she was an intern at our school, and he fell in love with her."

"Oh," Demi commented. "Funny. We always thought you two were going to end up together."

"No, we're just best friends," I said.

They nod their head, and Selena asks, "Where are you going to school?"

"I want to go to Atlantic University," I said. "I got accepted, but I can't."

"What's the matter?" Selena asks.

"I'm going to miss everyone here, and I don't have enough money to attend," I said. "Only a little leftover from paying the funeral."

"Wait," Demi says. "So, you paid for your mom's surgery, and now, her funeral? Where's your father?"

"Drinking with the guys," I answer. "He's been crying and upset since he learned of her passing. I decided to just pay for everything because I have had enough. My dad..." I pause, feeling my eyes stinging, "...my dad doesn't want me around anymore. He didn't say it, but I know how he feels it. He doesn't want any responsibilities."

"Where are you going to live?" Selena asks.

"I will probably move out or the house and move in with Camila or Lauren," I said. "My dad hardly comes to the house, so there is no point in living in the same house."

Demi looks at Camila and then back at me. Selena and her exchange a look. Their eyes seem to have spoke to one another in agreement. Demi looks at me and asks, "Pardon us, but may we have a word with you? Alone?"

I nod my head, and Camila leaves my side. Demi clears her throat and says, "I just thought of this, and it might be too quick to think it through, but Selena and I think you should come live with us."

"What?" I ask, raising my brows.

Demi explains, "You know we only live like ten minutes away from the university. And you don't have to live on campus. And we'll cover all of your tuition."

"It's alright," I said. "I can take a year off and get a job. I don't want to bother you guys."

"Ally, we insist," Demi says. "You won't owe us anything. It might be hard for you to leave, but don't hold yourself back. You have the potential to be what you aspire to be."

I shrug. "I don't-I don't know. I don't know if I want to go anymore. Everything just seems to be dull around me." I feel like someone has let the light out of me, and I'm left feeling cold and dimmed.

"Then that's the perfect reason why you should come and live somewhere new," Selena adds. "You haven't even explored what Atlantic University has to offer. Just please think about it."

"You guys really want me to come," I said, astonished.

"We know that your mom would've wanted that for you, especially if she was to pass like she did," Demi says. "Before you make a decision, just think about it. And ask yourself, what? Where? And who? What are you doing? Where are you going? Who are you wanting?"

I wanted to be a star. A pop star or an actress. I would love to go to Atlantic University. It's been my dream school for as long as I can remember. And my I wanted to impress my mom, but she's gone now. And then there's that other person. I don't want to mention him, but he's going to be busy with his upcoming job as a parent.

This wasn't much of a decision anymore. This was the opportunity for me leave and focus on myself. My health. I answer, "Okay, I will go with you guys."

"Really?!" Selena exclaims. "Great. But do you want to go right away or do you want to wait until you finish high school? First semester is already, and there is just second semester left."

"Right away," I answer. Just thinking about him, I was more eager to leave than deal with my heart ache. "I don't want to waste another second being here."

"Alright," Demi says. "We're leaving Saturday. Please be done packing by then. If you need any help, Sel and I are only one call away." I nod my head, and the two walked out of my view.