No Filter

Chapter LVI (56)

Ally's POV

I kiss Bear's forehead as he rests cozy in bed. It was just passed his bed time. His eyes close peacefully, and I watch him drift off into sleep. We had a wonderful day today. I taught him how to bake, and he ate most of his treats. After all, you're allowed to eat what you made.

I left his lamp on on his nightstand and stand up from the edge of the bed. I walk to the door and flip the light switch off and close the door after I walked out.

I walk through the hallway, feeling a cold breeze passing me by. I hold onto my arms for warmth and look ahead and saw Liam's door at the end of the hallway. I feel chills running down my spine as a pit grew in my stomach. Liam and Jade haven't come home yet, and I wouldn't say that I was worried, but I was.

I trot down the stairs and saw the lights were turned off. Everything would be dark if it wasn't for the one light bulb in the dining room, shedding some light. I told Mabel and Lizzie to not wait up. They deserved some sleep.

The air turned colder as I walk to the front door. Goosebumps rose on my skin. I rub my arms and heated myself a little. I push the door open and walk down the porch. I begin to walk on the grass. Just thinking about...the things I don't want to be think about. There was a particular voice in my head bothering me. And I could lie to myself to what it was, but I don't want to. I knew Liam and Jade's date was the reason why I've been down lately. And I'm trying to be a supportive friend. Ever since I came here, Jade had welcomed me with open arms. She was the first person I met, and she was sweet. I can't feel something for him again. I didn't even know I was capable of loving this way for someone again after the last time. The past should stay in the past.

Maybe these aren't feelings at all. Maybe they are just me being protective over Liam and Jade. And maybe, I haven't been on a date for so long. And maybe, I've gotten to a mindset where I raise Bear like he was my own, and Liam is his father...No, that is wrong. I have to stop this.

Tomorrow's Saturday, and I should ask to go to the park or someplace just to find a guy I like. I've been lonely for a while, and it's not that I don't like it. I just haven't dated for a while, and I want to know what that feels like again. I've been putting off so many guys that could have been the one. But if I did, I wouldn't be here right now.

Maybe I am broken like what Liam claimed. I just haven't been paying much attention to it. There was school, then my father's illness, and then teaching. I have scars on my heart that can't be healed easily, except when I'm with him.

Oh, who am I kidding? I like Liam. Just like before. But I'm scared. If I embrace my feelings, history will repeat itself, and I am not looking forward to another broken heart. I never got over the last one, so how can I with this one. I never thought seeing him again and hanging out would bring back old feelings.

I look up at the sky and see the stars glistening. I shift my sight to my surrounding to make sure I was alone. There wasn't a single person around. I mean, it's night time so I hope. I bent down and laid on my back on the grass. I admire the white beautiful stars in the night sky. Some twinkled. Some moved with the world. And some were still. The moon glistened in the sky. The cold breeze hit me, and I feel more relax than before.

"Mind if I join you?" I flinch and sit up. I turn my head over my shoulder and see Liam approaching me, carrying his jacket over his shoulder. He still wore his button down shirt and jeans from the date.

I gather myself and reply, "Actually, I was about to head inside."

"Well, can you stay for a little while?" He asks me, standing next to me. "I need to talk."

I sigh heavily, not wanting to leave him. I nod my head and reply, "Okay."

He smiles and takes a seat beside me, resting his jacket beside him. We both laid down on the grass, and he stretches his hands under his head. "Isn't it a lovely night?" He asks.