Before I unleash the tribute scores, I just want to apologize for the length of this. I thought I'd give you notes to help improve and so that people understand my reasoning behind their score and don't complain constantly (though I'm sure that never happens). I wonder up going a bit overboard. Oops.
You all did an excellent job!
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[D1 Male]: Cartier Graff - 10
Notes: The first thing I noticed about this entry, sadly, was a homophone problem - your entry sadly fell prey to the your/you're conundrum. However, I assumed this to be a simple typo as no similar error surfaced later. The greatest strength of this entry was most definitely characterization: even Cartier's psychopathic tendencies, which are hard to portray, came across well without being unrealistic, and the event itself linked in with him perfectly - which is actually what got you the 10 rather than the 9, seeing as it was such a crucial part of the entry. One thing I might've suggested was to use a bit more description; this is an entry that would've worked very nicely using flashbacks.
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[D1 Female]: Jamilla Argentaria - 11Notes: Something quite uncommon for these Games, the strongest part of this entry was actually its use of description; somehow, you managed to describe everything you needed to without being boring, which is extremely difficult. Jamilla is definitely the most Career-like of the characters in these Games, so it made a lot of sense for her event to be what it was, and it made the effect it had on her very clear. I adored the contrast between the interviews and this confession, particularly in the way she tried to play it like one. The place that was lacking for me was within the narration itself, which seemed too much like a viewer and not like a third-person narrator.
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[D2 Male]: Atticus Leigh - 6Notes: This entry actually started out really nicely: the description was strong and the characterization was on point - I particularly liked the way he was setting himself up to appear a certain way. The only complaints I had were numbers that weren't spelt out and a few misplaced commas. However, this entry was cut far too short, which completely spoiled the emotional effect. If you write something like this in the future, I'd recommend taking some time to discuss good memories with his aunt and how he felt during her death.
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[D2 Female]: Kimiko Zhen - 10Notes: This entry had a very strong comprehension of the basics: the description was good but not overwhelming, the characterization, if simplistic, was accurate. I particularly liked the idea of Kimi's event being the one that brought her the most happiness. However, the entry lacked in flair: for a task that gave potential to have a major event, this was a bit simplistic. There were heavy events, but these were often delivered in a very "woe is me" manner that made it seem much less potent than it could've been.
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[D3 Male]: Honorius Vaccaro - 0Notes: Did not hand in.
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[D3 Female]: Jessica Greenwood - 9Notes: I have to admit that, though this score is far from disastrous, I'm disappointed in this entry. Reading the very start of it, I was so pleased, thinking it might be one of the strongest I'd receive: the description was brilliant, the characterization was highly effective, and the idea of the event was exactly what I was looking for. Jessica's excitement even added the flair that was missing to some of the other entries with simpler events. However, as the end came, it sort of just fell apart. The writing became sloppy and careless, very clearly being rushed. Basically, what stopped you from scoring lower was the beginning - and what stopped you from scoring higher was the end.
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[D4 Male]: Calder Sertori - 7
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Writer Games | Masquerade of Martyrs & Family Ties
AçãoWriter Games: Masquerade of Martyrs: last updated February 3 2015 Writer Games: Family Ties: last updated April 14 2015 Reuploaded with permission from AEKersey 2019