nineteen

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this story is so sad at the moment )): here's taejeon being taejeon to cheer up:

this story is so sad at the moment )): here's taejeon being taejeon to cheer up:

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***


You know, this awful moment of realization when you're feeling even more lonely right next to someone? A person supposed to love you no matter what, to be your partner in crime, best friend and lover all at once?
Feeling like all the effort, time and strength you put into something, it's worth nothing yet it cost you so many tears? Yet you always hold on to something that didn't even exist, but you only realised that now?

When you're so sad but there are no tears? Just numbess filling up your body, turning you limp, tired. Tired of loving without ever experiencing true love.

That's how Lyza felt, sitting besides Jungkook this evening while they were watching some music award show. No word spoken to each other since they left the  mall, only for Taejeon's sake they gave each other a goodnight kiss like they always did. Then they went back to silence.

No one was actually watching the damn show. Jungkook kept staring into nothing, tears rushing down his cheeks because he was too lazy to hold them back. It was over, it fucking ended before it even began.
It took them a decade to find out sleeping with each other was exactly what they always needed, yet it stopped all of a sudden.

At first, it was meant to be nothing but a distraction.

But right now, Jungkook doubted if it was ever just that. The way his heart clenched whenever he remembered Taehyung's pretty face coming closer to please Jungkook with dozens of small kisses everywhere. It took him only a few times to find out all the weak spots of his best friend, to know exactly where to touch and kiss him to give Jungkook an amount of pleasure he couldn't deal with.

Another thing that kept repeating itself in Jungkook's mind was the face when Jungkook left his apartment. Tears glowing in Taehyung's eyes, falling down softly while his lips trembled, begging for Jungkook to just stay.

And he didn't.

"Did you sleep with him?"

Lyza's voice finally broke the them surrounding awkward silence. Even her tone was full of disappointment in Jungkook. And the boy felt that. Everyone always got so disappointed in him when he showed his emotions for once. Back when he was a kid and still now, he wasn't supposed to show off how he felt.

It wasn't right for him to do that, at least in his opinion.

He didn't answer, his mind was still so drawn to Taehyung, every single tear that fell was because of him, not because of Lyza or what he was putting her through. Actually he never even thought about her in this.

"Jungkook", Lyza said sharply. "Did you sleep with him?"

"Him?", Jungkook asked, thoughts far away so he wasn't paying attention -still.

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