DADDY ISSUES | VKOOK

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there aren't many chapters left so get ready for the end bbys

also, again a warning; mention of self harm.

and i saw someone commenting something which i think is important so I'll say it here too: you never have to be ashamed of seeking for help from a doctor. they're there to help. ❤

***

Far past midnight, the door of their bedroom got opened quietly. Jungkook tiptoed in, big fluffy socks on his legs that reached up to his knees, tiny boxers and a long sleeved sweater combined to it.

Lyza was asleep, humming peacefully into her pillow while her boyfriend decided to share their bed with her again after he spent a whole month on the couch so he could cry in peace.
"Lyzzie", Jungkook whispered her nickname which he hadn't used in three years, quietly lifting the blanket up.
The girl opened her eyes sleepily, she had a light sleep since their son was born, always up by the smallest noise. "Kookie", she mumbled a bit drowsy as she rolled over to make some room for him.

"It's 3am or something", she huffed, eyes falling shut again when Jungkook laid down besides her. "I'm sorry, I felt lonely", he hummed. "C-can we cuddle? Just c-cuddle", he asked in a small voice. "I know I'm not enough b-but please, I want to be hold-"

"Kook, I'm the girl you should hold me", Lyza sighed quietly but opened her arms. "Come here", she nuzzled.
A small smile appeared on Jungkook's lips as he quickly shifted into her arms, "T-thank you", the boy voiced when he felt Lyza's arms wrapped around his waist where she hold him softly, not caring about being the big spoon tonight.

Silence filled up their room, darkness along with it. They couldn't see each other, not at all but sometimes that's not necessary. Tonight, all Jungkook needed was somebody to hold him, it mustn't be a lover, nor a friend. Just someone who could held his hands to distract him from doing something he'd regret later on.
Nights were the worst, being used to be hold in Taehyung's arms-, well it really got to the young boy. It made him feel lonelier than ever, now that Taehyung wasn't there anymore.

He stopped bringing him coffee in the morning, since that day they talked the last time, he just disappeared from Jungkook's sight and that's when it got worse.
Honestly, he was doing better. But as much as he tried, as much effort he put into himself; Taehyung just had to step back and Jungkook was back at the start.

Shaking at nights, crying over nightmares and pressing his fingernails into his own skin afterwards, scratching so hard that he'd numb the emotional pain he felt somehow.
Obviously it didn't work. Not for longer than a few seconds, he knew it was wrong to let the anger out on himself because it wasn't his goddamn fault.

That Lyza and Taehyung had sex, nothing about it was Jungkook's fault, they chose to do it. In that very moment they gave a shit about Jungkook.
Hurting himself, it just wasn't the right thing to do and he knew that. He wanted to fight it, urgently. Along the way he just got dragged with it, forcing himself to believe that physical pain was making it less harmful.

Once he even got himself into a fight, longing to feel pain for loving Taehyung.
It wasn't that he enjoyed it, not at all actually, but he needed to get rid off this increasing emptiness, it just made him numb to sit there and watch everyone moving on with life while he simply couldn't.

"Are you crying?", Lyza's voice somehow sounded far away, like an echo you hear through long distance, although she was right there, holding him closely.
Jungkook sniffled, he didn't realise how he tightened his grip around her arm, pressing it to his chest while he sobbed heavily.
"S-sorry", he said in a small voice.