Save Me Break Me || MYG

The Memories Twenty-Five - Forgive... I Guess...

I held the mug of hot chocolate, sniffing its sweet aroma, as Mia and I sat on the steps of her front porch. She also made one for herself, but she did not take even one sip, instead settling it on the floor beside her. Her eyes were puffy and tired, but no sign of wanting to close them amd rest.

I handed her a pill and a bottle of water. Last time she had a breakdown, Ms. Keen handed me a prescription for sleeping pills and antidepressant that was supposed to go to Mia's father, but because of our little fight that night, I forgot to give it, and as I was about to take a shower when I got home, I saw that folded paper drop from my blazer's pocket. I was surprised to find out we take the same antidepressant, which made me feel for her. Was it love? I wasn't sure, but it's somewhere close to that, I guess.

"I bought this while you were dozing off. I messaged Ms. Keen as well that I'd give you sleeping pills tonight," I stated as I placed the pill on the palm of her hand. She stared at it before popping it into her mouth and gulping ample amount of water to down the pill.

"Thanks, Yoongi. I'm sorry for always bothering you." She rubbed her nose which was red and stuffy.

"Mia, you have to tell me what happened. If someone tried to hurt you, I must know."

"I don't want you to see me differently, so it might be better to keep you in the dark," she replied, her eyes fixed yonder.

"Look, whatever it is, I am in no position to judge you, nor condemn you. All I'm trying to do is help you..." tension and frustration ringing evident in my voice, surprising me that I manage to blurt them out in a hushed tone.

Her gray eyes shifted to mine, making me hold my breath and feel nauseous. They were filled with fright, remorse, and secrets left untold, dark secrets that she wanted to bury in the past but keeps clawing its way out of the grave she dug for them.

"No one can help me. I'm worse than the monsters living in the deepest darkest pits of hell. I think it's best for you to stay away."

She stood up turned headed for the door, but I grabbed her arm to prevent her from walking away. Without meaning to, I pulled up the sleeve of her oversized polo as I felt similar linear bumps on the inner side of her arm, revealing several cuts that are still fresh but close to healing. My heart sank and my breathing staggered. She did not yank her arm away, so I rolled up my sleeves and showed her my scars. Her eyes widened at the sight, her tears threatening to fall.

"My friends saved me from death, Mia, even if I refused them, even if I kicked them out or hurt them. They never gave up on me. I know nothing about your past, and I won't expect you to trust me, nor claim that my new found mission in life is to save you. But allow me to be there for you, to come rushing whenever you need me to. I'm not asking for anything in return, but please, just let me. I won't force you to tell me what hurts you. But I'll be here, I'll patiently wait for you to open your heart. Trust me on that one."

She finally let her tears fall, her head dropping onto my shoulder. I pulled her close to me, hoping that she could feel how my heart beats for her, how sincere I was that I want this, that I want her to get better.

"Why did you have to come into my life, Yoongi," she stammered in between sobs.

"I don't know," I whispered.

I released her from my hold and lifted her chin with my fingers to hold her gaze.

"But I mean it. I'll wait. I'll always be here," I whispered as I wiped away her tears.

She held my hands that cupped her face and said, "I apologize sincerely for hitting you with the ball. I have no right to do that to you."

Our laughter finally broke the gloom in the air. Her beautiful smile. Not being dramatic but I now understand what it meant for a blind man to see for the first time.

"Can I ask you something, Mia?"

Her eyes were curious.

"Why won't you fight back when they bully you at school?"

She sat back down, then patted the steps, motioning me to take a seat beside her. "I was used to it, so I didn't mind. It's one of the reasons my dad asked Ms. Keen to teach me at home for years. I wasn't really made fun of, rather I was constantly harrassed or touched inappropriately. What our schoolmates do now I consider tamer than what I experienced before. Uhm, that's all I can tell for now."

"It's fine, hey, it's a good start! So don't worry. One more though, all out of curiosity, why is it with me, you don't hesitate to fight back? I mean, looking back, we probably fought more than we talked peacefully."

Ah, she smiled again. As I sense cold air hit my gums, I knew I was grinning like an idiot each time her eyes sparkle and her lips curl upward.

"I guess I started relying on you when you showed kindness. That time when my shirt got wet, I was stunned. I didn't know what to do. Then you came running and saved me when I least expected you to. And when you bought me shoes because my old ones make me slip amd slide, with a simple request to take better care of myself, it proved that you were truly concerned for my safety. I guess, I began feeling comfortable with you, that the silly banters and petty fights became amusing and somehow refreshing, as if subconsciously you're teaching me to fend for myself."

"So you're comfortable with me?" I clarified.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I guess..."

My gums were suffering from too much air exposure.

"But, why did you not tell anyone about me attacking you? I was half expecting to receive an expulsion letter or your dad hunting me down. Why did you not tell on me?"

"I know you didn't intend to do it. That time, your mind was clouded by hate and you had no control. I felt so much anger and frustration radiating from you. But when you snapped out of it and apologized, I knew I can't hold a grudge against you. You see, nobody ever apologized to me before, no matter how much hurt they cause me. I guess, that moment you already earned my trust."

Wow. That was a lot to take in. I was so curious at this point. I want to know all her pain, all that she's afraid of, everything that hurts her. I want to take them all away and make her happy. But I won't force her to, not now. Though she said she trusts me, I needed to earn the bigger part of it. I will wait until she's ready to tell her story.

"I don't deserve it, after what I did to you. I'm really sorry."

She placed her hand on top of mine. "I forgive you."

"So, are we really friends this time," I teased her.

She bowed her head and let out the cutest giggle. "Of course."

We shook our hands to seal the pact.