Shawn Mendes imagines

Hate

Y/n pov

I'm currently touring with the Shawn Mendes, an worldwide famous singer and well you don't really need an explanation. Touring  was going great, I loved it all so much, the crew were super kind. Except one. Shawn Mendes. I hated him he hated me, we have done for quite a while. I never knew why though. From my point of view I'd never done anything to harm him. I continued reading the book that I found lying around called Harry potter and the philosophers stone. It was actually a pretty awesome book and i was reading it Shawn had gone out exploring L.A for a bit. Yes we did live in the same hotel, but it was only because Shawn's friend Brian "accidentally" booked one less room, however we did have our own rooms. I took the bigger one after a long argument with Shawn as to why I deserve it. The crew thinks theres some romantic tension between me and Shawn but neither of us agree. I mean sure he's pretty cute, and fit, and his lazy eye is adorable too and.....Wait what? No y/n you can't think that. Oh god, I can't like him. I was distracted from my book and thoughts when the door flung open, revealing Shawn.

"Your still here" Shawn asked avoiding eye contact with me

"Yep!" I replied without taking my eyes of the book

"Is that my book?" Shawn questioned 

"I don't know is it" 

"Yes, you fucking bitch" (I know Shawn wouldn't act like this EVER but just go with it)

"Why are you like this to me, what have I ever done to you" I shouted 

Shawn scoffed and ignored my comment, whilst snatching his precious book out my hand. "You know what i've had enough" I said. With that I made my way to my room before the tears spilt. When I reached I slammed the door shut and fell to the ground my back on the door, choking on my own tears. He hates me and I don't even know why. What have I done wrong. I get up from my position and grab my diary which was located under my pillow, and I begin to write.

When I had finally finished writing,placed the diary down, took my lamp off and shut my eyes tight. Maybe this is all a bad dream and i'll be okay in the morning. I shut my eyes and tried to sleep.

Shawn's pov

I walked into y/n's room, and called out her name. She never replied. I walked closer to her bed and sat next to her. There she lay, peacefully. She was asleep, I moved her hair off her face and when my fingers touched her cheek, I noticed she'd been crying. Fuck. What kind of person am I? Why can't I just tell her? I turned my head slightly and noticed a Black book with the word diary written on it. I switched her bedside lamp on and I decided to read it, just to know what she thinks about me. One page wouldn't hurt right? I turned to todays date and read it.

Dear Diary,

Today, was like any other day, except it was worse. Shawn had gone out, exploring L.A for a bit whilst I stayed at home. Usually, I'd love a quite night it but things didn't go as I expected. As you already know I freaking love reading, so when I saw a book lying around I read it. A few hours later , Shawn arrived. He didn't say Hi or how are you. Instead he questioned me and asked me if I was reading his book. After a short argument he called me a fucking bitch. That stung a lot. Especially coming from him. My ex boyfriend Jacob used to call me that so when Shawn said it I had to try my hardest not to cry. Does he know how it is to feel worthless? Unloved? Trapped? Depressed? That's exactly how I felt with Jacob and him saying all that, brought all the bad memories back. I don't know why he hates me, I wish I knew, then I wouldn't have to feel this bad. Anyways you don't need to be listening to my dumb thoughts, i'll update you later. Hopefully.

I held back a cry as i read her entry, I put the diary back bent down to y/n's ear and whispered "I'm sorry, im so so sorry". She began to shuffle around until she opened her eyes. 

"Shawn, what are you doing here, are we going to fight again, because im too fucking tired." she said to me whilst sitting up 

"I'm sorry"

"What, is this some kind of joke" she questioned not believing me

"I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean to act like I hated you, i'm sorry I made you feel worthless like Jacob did, Im sorry, I don't know why I did it". I said to her attempting to hold back tears

"How do you know about Jacob, I never told anyone about my past, did you read my diary" 

"Yes, but I just wanted to know how you feel, I'm sorry for being a dick."

"Then why were you one"

I took my hands into hers and explained. For some reason she never pulled back."I know its stupid, but when we first met I instantly fell in love with you, and it scared me. I've dated before but when I met you it felt different. I thought if I got you to hate me it would take those feelings away, but it didn't it just made them stronger, I like you a lot, i'm sorry I wish I could take back everything I said, your not a bitch, and your certainly not worthless. Your beautiful, intelligent, and amazing in every single way." I said before sobbing

Y/n stared at me for a moment processing everything I had just said. After a few seconds she wrapped her arms around me and held me close. "It's okay, Shawn please don't cry I hate seeing you upset" she said as she attempted to comfort me

"Why are you being so nice, I don't deserve you, please stop being nice to me shout at me, hit me do something please" I pleaded

"I can't Shawn" she said as we pulled back from the hug

"Why not" 

"Because, Shawn I like you too from the moment i saw you. I just thought it was a stupid crush, or something. I didn't know i'd actually fall in love with you.

"Wait you love me" I questioned

"Yes that's why it hurt more, when you said all those things, I felt even more worthless." 

This time it was her who cried. "Shhh y/n, sweetie, it'll be okay, i'm sorry" I said as I kissed her head. She immedialty pulled back and stood up. 

"I'm sorry y/n, I won't do that again."

"No, no its.... my ex he wouldn't do this ever, when we argued he'd say things. Bad things. He apologises without meaning it, but you meant your apology which is why i'm forgiving you."

"Thank you y/n"

"Its okay, now lets go to bed i'm tired" she said yawing soon after

"Okay" I said getting ready to leave her room

"Wait" she called after me

"What is it"

"You forgot something." She said, then leaned in for a kiss. I was shocked but soon kissed back and it felt amazing. 

"Can you stay" she asked

"Um if its okay with you"

"Yeah, it is now come on, I want to cuddle." y/n whined and I chuckled

We both lay in bed after taking turns in the bathroom to change in our pyjamas.

"I love you y/n"

"I love you mendes." she said then fell to sleep.

I love y/n. I shouldn't have treated her like shit. I'm glad she gave me a second chance. Because now I can help her believe that she is beautiful, intelligent and amazing. She's not anything any of her haters or ex has said. She's beautiful and she's mine. And i'm never letting go.

A/n 

I don't know what this was.