Laine's POV
Today's the day.
Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong umasa na bubuti pa ang lagay ko o tanggapin na lang na hanggang dito na lang ang lahat. I swear gusto kong mabuhay pa nang mas matagal. Matupad lahat ng pangarap ko. Pangarap namin ni Ryoc.
Hindi ko pa siya nakakalimutan. It's hard to do so. I knew I love him since we were kids and up until now mahal ko pa rin siya. Kahit kailan, hindi nabawasan ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya.
Thinking about Ryoc’s like a sweet nightmare. I knew when I wake up, I'll be slapped by the reality that I'm leaving.
Kumatok ako sa pinto ng opisina ng papa ni Marco. His dad's a doctor, a neurologist to be precise (specializes on brain disorders). He's the first one to know na may sakit ako dahil sa ospital na pagmamay-ari ng pamilya nila ako nagpakonsulta.
He opened the door. Right in front of my eyes is a stout, middle-aged man holding some laboratory tests in his right hand. He nodded at me at pinapasok ako sa loob ng kanyang opisina.
Nang makapasok ako, umupo ako sa upuan sa tapat ng lamesa ng doctor. Sa gilid ko may hospital bed. Nakatingin lang siya sa mga laboratory tests na hawak niya.
He cleared his throat before speaking.
"Laine. It's nice to see you."
I smiled awkwardly.
"Nice to see you too, Doc."
He placed the envelopes on his desk and stared at me.
"Nandito ka ba para sa prognosis?"
"Uhm, yeah. How was it, Doc?"
Bumuntong-hininga siya.
"To remind you, you have Grade IV Glioblastoma. We tried to remove it but some parts were left dahil magiging dahilan lang 'yon ng paralysis kung susubukan pa nating tanggalin. And then we tried to rely on chemotherapy. None worked."
He drummed his fingers on the table.
"Well, you knew me very well. I hate sugar-coated words. I'll state your prognosis straightforwardly."
"There's no need for sugar-coated words, Doc.Tanggap ko naman po ang kahihinatnan ko."
Silence fell between us. Shoot. Ang hirap magpakatatag.
"Laine... A year left."
I didn't answered.
"Bakit hindi mo gawin lahat ng gusto mo? I mean, you know. Bucketlist."
I chuckled softly.
"What for, Tito? I'm dying."
"Atleast you lived your life to the fullest."
I looked at him.
"It's not how long you lived. It's on what purpose and what you did that matters."
Sandali akong natahimik.
"Tito, I don't have any bucketlists."
"Yes, dear. You do. Pero binuo mo 'yon kasama ang isang tao na ayaw mo nang balikan kasi you are afraid of hurting them."
Tinamaan ako sa sinabi ni Tito.
"Laine, it's really hard to accept that you are leaving. Pero I think it's much better if you would help Ryoc accept the fact that you are leaving."
"Kilala ko po 'yon, matigas ulo n'on. Hindi niya tatanggapin kahit na alam na niya."
He sighed.
"I don't understand young people. Kapag may mali sa relasyon, tinatapon agad. Hindi man lang sinusubukang ayusin nang magkasama. You're wasting your time on arguing and finding another love rather than trying to fix yourselves."
"Tito, hindi na rin naman kasi maaayos. What's the point? I'm dying."
"You are dying because you are letting your memories die. Gusto mo bang umalis na may iniwang sakit sa kanila? Sa kanya?"
I stared at the floor.
"Hindi ko alam bakit sinasabi ko 'to. But hija, life is too short. Everyone of us would leave, sooner or later. You just have to know which person is worth to keep during that short time."
Hindi rin nagtagal at nagpaalam na ako na aalis na. But instead of pag-uwi agad-agad, dumaan muna ako sa maliit na park sa loob ng bakuran ng ospital.
We used to play in parks like this. Yung mga maliliit na bata na naghahabulan, walang pinoproblema, carefree. Hanggang sa naging mga teenagers na walang ibang pinoproblema kung hindi ang mga crush nila at assignments. Tapos naging college students na palaging tutok sa pag-aaral pati na rin sa mga jowa nila.
Sino ba namang mag-aakala?
Everything is going smooth.
T*ngina, ang lungkot. Bigla na lang dumating yung punto at oras sa buhay mo na nag-spiral pababa ang ikot ng mundo, pagkatapos nakita mo na lang sarili mo na ganito.
Dumating na kami sa punto na may aalis. Ang hirap palang sanayin yung sarili mo na laging nand'yan yung taong mahalaga sa'yo. Kasi you know what? Bukas makalawa, aalis siya. O baka ikaw pa ang maunang umalis.
Ang masakit pa, alam mo na na mangyayari 'yon. And you can't change anything about it.
BINABASA MO ANG
Grave of Dead Dreams (COMPLETED)
Roman d'amourNOTHING IS CERTAIN Ryoc and Laine's love story is your typical "friends-turn-to-lovers" story. Since childhood, he has already set his eyes on her. Luckily, her heart beats for his name. With the support of their families and friends, the two lover...
