Grave of Dead Dreams (COMPLETED)

43. Sudden

Ryoc's POV

As soon as she said 'yes', I immediately arranged things for our wedding. I've been so caught up on things that I instantly phoned Papa to tell him the news.

I was too happy and too sad at the same time. My emotions are killing me. Being somewhere between happiness and sadness sucks. I'm happy that now I am marrying the girl of my dreams but at the same time I am sad because she's leaving.

And me?

I don't know. It feels like after her death, I don't know what to do in my life. Parang lahat ng plano nakatuon lang sa limang buwan na taning niya sa buhay.

I don't know how to move on without her.

Nakakatawang isipin na walang nagbago kahit na nahanap ko siya ulit. Because she's still going away. And this time, she's off to some place that I knew I can never search. Unless death befalls on myself too.

I hate it. I hate the idea of dying. Maybe mainly because death already took Mama before I even met her and now he's taking Laine from me too. If only there's something I can do to stop her from dying,I'll gladly do it.

That morning I kissed her forehead while she's reading a book beside a window. I sat on the arm rest of the couch and placed an arm around her. She looked at me and smiled. The sun shone on her face, giving her curves a golden shine. I gently took her hand and placed a kiss there.

"Laine, aalis lang ako sandali, ha."

She look puzzled.
"Saan ka pupunta?"

I smiled.
"Secret."

Sumimangot si Laine. I chuckled.
"Bawal ko talagang malaman? Naglilihim ka na sa fiancé mo?"

I hugged her. She crossed her arms jokingly, kunyari nagtatampo.
"E, Sweetheart, surprise ko 'yon sa kasal natin. Paano pa magiging surprise 'yon kung sasabihin ko sa'yo?"

She rolled her eyes.
"Okay, fine. Secret na kung secret."

Tinawanan ko siya. Mas hinigpitan ko ang yakap ko.
"Eto namang future misis ko, masyadong matampuhin. Tatanda ka   n'yan lalo."

Lumungkot ang expression niya.
"Hindi na ako tatanda, Ryoc."

Natahimik kami pareho. Hindi ko inaalis ang pagkakayakap ko sa kanya.

"Puwede bang... huwag muna nating banggitin 'yon, Laine? Kahit na ano tungkol d'on?"

"Ryoc..." she whispered.

Mas lalo kong hinigpitan ang yakap sa kanya. I can feel her gaze at me.

"You have to accept it..."

"I'm trying, Laine. I'm trying."

She placed her hand on my cheek.
"Ganyan na ganyan ka rin no'ng nag-break tayo, ah. In denial."

I smiled bitterly.
"So you knew all along?"

She nodded.

"Baliw ka talaga. Bakit hindi mo man lang ako pinigilan,Laine?"tumingin ako sa kanya." Bakit hindi ka man lang nagparamdam o kaya gumawa ng white lie para tumigil ako sa paghahanap sa'yo? "

Nakatingin si Laine sa malayo.
" Maybe I... Maybe I was afraid... Takot ako na hindi ka maka-move on but at the same time I was afraid na baka makalimutan mo ako. What if you find someone else? Paano ako? " tumawa siya nang mahina." Pero hindi ko naisip na dadating tayo sa puntong 'to. I want to stay, Ryoc. If only I can stop this tumor from spreading I will stop it and stay by your side forever. If only I could turn back time, gagawin ko. Kung puwede ko lang burahin at ayusin yung mga kabanata na 'to sa buhay natin matagal ko nang ginawa. But this is reality. We have to... "

" Yeah. "

She smiled.
" Huwag ka nang malungkot. Magkikita pa naman tayo sa langit e. "

Natawa kami pareho.

" Laine, I think I should go. "

She didn't let go of my hand.

" Babalik ka, ha? "

I kissed her hand.
" I promise."

I immediately rode in my car and drove to Manila. I picked up some flowers on my way and then dumiretso ako sa church para bumili ng rosary.

I had never been that too religious. But since I met Laine, I started praying more and more. Kaya I thought that she'll love to have a rosary to remind her that she has God on her side all throughout her battle.

The last part of my surprise is quite confidential. I recorded myself while talking and I'm planning to play it on our wedding day. I went to our home para doon mag-video. Just a short message for her.

Hapon na nang matapos ako sa ginawa ko. Kahit pagod, sumakay agad ako sa kotse at nag-drive pabalik kay Laine.

I'm sleepy. Pabagsak-bagsak na ang ulo ko habang nagmamaneho. Sinusubukan kong labanan ang antok. Sinusubukan kong kontroling nang ayos ang manibela. Ilang beses kong kinabig ang manibela dahil muntik na akong makabunggo. I took out my phone to call Papa. I don't know what's happening on me but my fingers are jerky that I dropped my phone. Yumuko ako para pulutin 'yon.

Dammit, Ryoc Johann! Focus!

Nang makuha ko ang cellphone ko, it was too late. Huli na nang mapansin kong may makakasalubong akong truck.

My car collided with the truck. Naramdaman ko ang pagtalsik ng malalaking bubog sa katawan ko. My head banged on the broken windshield. Nagawa ko pang tumingin sa nakabanggaan kong truck. Walang malay ang driver.
That's the last thing I saw. Before my mind went blank, my eyes seeing the blood dripping from my forehead, and my body aching from the impact, all I can say was,

"Laine,I'm going home."