BROKEN SECRETS (Assassination Classroom x Reader)

Idiots, Perverts, and the 4th Wall

Sugino looks hilarious in this photo ^^

My left eye twitched as I smiled painfully, "So you're saying that, because I was sick, I MISSED FREE DESSERT!!!??!"

Nagisa flinched and whispered, "Be quiet (Y/N), or Karasuma will catch us."

As we parkoured through the woods running from the 'cops', Ritsu popped up on Kaede's phone, "Okajima, Hayami, Chiba, and Fuwa are out... Sugaya and Professor Bitch are out..."

Kaede stared at her phone like a Gen Z kid, "Uh oh, we're dropping like flies."

"They should rename this place Mt. Slaughter," Okuda mirrored Kayano's worried state.

"They just got tagged out, right?" Nagisa pointed out.

"Weaklings," I muttered, "I can't believe they got tagged out so easily. Karasuma isn't even that hard to beat."

"That's because you're an OP character!" Sugino sweatdropped.

"Sugino," I scolded, "stop breaking the fourth wall. That's the comment sections' job."

"Huh, wait a second." Okuda rationalized, "This is cops and robbers, technically-"

"We could tag them back in!" Sugino jumped up, "Okuda, you're a genius!"

"Yeah, sure," Karma leaned on the rock, "have fun. Like anyone's breaking out of jail with a supersonic octopus on duty. If it was possible to come in under his radar, we'd have offed him months ago."

"Now now," I smirked, "while I hate to say you're wrong-"

"You love saying he's wrong," Nagisa commented.

"And rubbing it in his face," Sugano added.

"... Okay, that's true, but still- I have an idea on how to get him to drop his guard."

----

"Ready guys?" I looked back at my team.

"Yeah," Nagisa handed me a bottle of fake blood, "here, I took it from Karma's staff of prank stuff."

"Hey!"

"It's fine Nagisa, I don't need that. When I play a trick, I go all the way." I smirked and walked into the clearing where Koro-sensei was guarding the others. "Okaji-" I tripped over my own feet 'accidentally' and skinned my knee pretty badly. There were holes on the knees of my pants, and the cuts were gushing blood. 

Koro-sensei sped over, and I started to manifest fake tears, "Are you okay?" He panicked, "Do you need an ambulance? Should I call the paramedics? Do you need stitches?"

I had to hold myself back from laughing, "N-no, b-but can you get me a M-med Kit? Please?" Koro-sensei rushed off to find the First-aid kit, while I sat in the same spot, watching Karma and Sugino rush toward the jail. I assume they managed to get the others out of jail because Nagisa gave me a thumbs up from behind the bushes, but my vision was blocked by Koro-sensei frantically trying to clean and bandage my injured knees. I hid a smirk behind my hair, he was so easy.

We ended up winning, and at the end of the game I teamed up with Karasuma to yell at Koro-sensei for being such an idiot. But at the end of the day, I had a lot of fun with my friends.

------

"Koro-sensei," I spoke in a menacing voice, my hair covering my eyes, "WHAT," I pointed to the cover of a magazine, "is this!? Stealing women's' undergarments?! That's low even for you!"

"They're totally talking about you, aren't they?"

"How could you do that stuff?"

"We're very disappointed in you, sir."

"Wai- Wha- No!" Koro-sensei panicked, "I'm innocent! I don't even know anything about this!"

"Oh," Hayami huffed, "you have an alibi?" 

"Ali-what?"

"Where were you on the evenings of the incidents in question?"

--Time Skip because I don't feel like writing all that--

Karma laughed, "We certainly put the octopus through the wringer, didn't we? Some people just can't take the heat."

"Is he stealing underwear?" Nagisa stood, "That'd be pretty serious, I mean, we're talking an actual crime."

"Compared to blowing up the Earth? I'd say it's precious."

"Okay, but-"

"Jeez," I interrupted, "as much fun as it was to make that piece of limp Kalamari suffer-"

"You're really bad with insults aren't you," Karma smirked.

"Shut up chili pepper!" Karma choked back a laugh, "Anyway," I continued, "it was fun, but it's getting boring now. I mean, it's obvious Koro-sensei wouldn't do this. He doesn't want to lose our respect. Besides, I searched through the teachers' lounge around midnight last night, a little after the incidents occurred, and none of that weird stuff was there before. Mind you, I didn't know about the creepy undergarment thief thing, but still, if Koro-sensei had done those things, he would have been able to get back here at Mach 20 speed. So, the only possibility is that he's being framed."

"Yeah, I know what I would do with superspeed," he smirked at me with an evil, slightly perverted, glint in his eye, "but I can tell you one thing. If I stole underwear, I sure as hell wouldn't be sloppy enough to leave evidence behind." 

He tossed Nagisa a basketball with a bra on it, and I snorted, "That's actually kinda funny."

"So I'd have to agree with (Y/N)," Karma became serious, "Koro-sensei wouldn't do something like this, that would threaten our respect of him."

"So we're dealing with an archetype," Fuwa raved, "a fake sensei! The double, the doppelganger, oldest supervillain trope in the book! Which means," Fuma pointed, "our target is intimately familiar with Koro-sensei and his quirks. Hey, let's you and me play detective Ritsu!"

"No need," I sighed, "isn't it obvious? Now I'd love to watch all you guys run around chasing your tails, and this chapter could be longer, but I'd rather get this over with. The culprit is obviously Shiro and Itona, but if you don't believe me, why don't you head over to ______. That's the next target." They looked at me in confusion and awe, as I sighed, "besides, the author has scoliosis that she wants to complain to people about so she's putting it into this horrible story, and she wants to go take a nap."

"Okaaaaayyyyyy...."

---------

"Heads up," Karma pointed out the man with a yellow helmet running through the yard.

"Someone's here!"

"The guy with the yellow head!"

As the others talked, I strolled up to the man stealing the underwear, "These people, leaving their underwear out in the open like this? And they wonder why anyone would steal it." I sighed, "So, Mr., why are you cosplaying as Celty and stealing clothes? Jk, I know the answer! I betcha, Yan-SHIRO, is right around the bend preparing a trap for our teacher. Am I right or am I totally right?" The man started to run and I roundhouse kicked him straight into the grasp of Koro-sensei, who ripped off the helmet to expose, "Karasuma's underling. Can't say I expected that." Koro-sensei began to ask him questions when the trap sprung, walls popping up from all sides and surrounding him, "That I did expect. Well, this isn't my fight, so I'll take a quick nap. Wake me when one of them dies."

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A/N sorry it's rushed. I wanted to write, but I'm also kinda tired soo....