Force connections

A new plan

I lowered my weapon and stepped out of the shadows just as Rey and Poe appeared. Rey stopped abruptly and I noted that her cheeks were flushed.  Upon seeing me the pilot narrowed his eyes, "I'll get the stuff " he said to Rey and then turned on his heel and left. Before I could speak Rey pushed me backwards into the room I'd come out of and pressed her lips to mine. At first I was surprised but as usual I found my body responding more quickly than my mind and I was soon kissing back furiously, my erection ignited again and pressing into her stomach, my breathing escaping in shaky gasps. Finally she pulled away, her eyebrows drawn together, her breathing matching mine, "What you were doing before I found you just then wasn't very helpful" she hissed, "Neither is what you've just done to me" I responded, causing a small smile to play at her lips. Just then Poe came in avoiding my gaze but unable to hide his disgust at our embrace.  Rey quickly pulled away from me, turning to Poe and taking the bags from him. "Here, supplies for you, more food and the bag of clothes you left behind on Devaron", surprised by this gesture I took the bags and looked at Rey. I knew I should thank her but I hated showing that side of me in front of the pilot so I nodded at her, hoping she would understand. She smiled and nodded back at me and then turned to Poe who was standing in the doorway, his arms across his chest, his face in a scowl, "Poe would you mind giving us some time?"Rey asked. Surprised, I looked at the pilot. His face had darkened, "Sure" he said and then stopped in the doorway and turned to look at me "Just so you know, I only came here because Rey wanted me to, if it were down to me you would have been left to starve here" and then he stalked out. I took in his words quietly, my eyes lowered. Rey lifted my chin and our eyes met. She brushed a strand of hair away and then kissed me again, drawing herself against me, my erection growing again for the third time. I moaned quietly and she did the same, pulling away then, her hands sliding down my chest, our breathing ragged. "I'm sorry for what I said" I heard myself blurt out. Clearly surprised by my apology, Rey's eyes met mine and then she nodded, "It's ok. I know you must be finding this hard. Ben we are still going to go ahead with the plan you proposed, you know about blowing up the First Orders training base. Do you want to fight with us?".  I looked at Rey then and felt the familiar flutter in my stomach, "If I fight I will do it separately.  Your pilot would be quick enough to shoot me down and I don't need anymore enemies" I stated plainly, dropping my eyes and feeling that deep loneliness again.  Suddenly Rey's arms were around me, pulling me to her until my face was leaning into her neck, it took me a moment to remember that Rey felt everything I felt, she must have felt my loneliness.  She held me like that, her hands reaching up to smooth my hair, her voice soft in my ear, "I love you Ben, you're not alone, you're never alone anymore", I gulped back tears and allowed her to pull me down to the ground until we were sat together facing each other, her arms around me.  I kept my eyes down and my head hung, I hated this, this war, "I've become nothing Rey" I said quietly, hearing my voice break.  Her hands rested on my cheeks then and she shook her head vigorously as she tilted my head to make me look at her, "No Ben, that's not true.  You are everything to me and I believe you are important in this fight too, we need you Ben, I need you.  This is how we build our future together".  I considered this for a moment as I looked in her eyes.  Rey still saw a future where we would be together, she still had hope.  In that moment I knew that deep down I still believed in our future together, I wanted that future and I knew the only way to get it was to destroy the First Order.