Force connections

You are not alone.

That night I lay in my bed thinking about the scavenger, Trying to understand my feelings. I thought about the first time that I had seen her through my mask. I had been taken aback by how pretty she was. Her fearful eyes had stared at me and for a moment I had forgotten what it was that I was trying to get from her. And then when I had interrogated her I hadn't been able to bring myself to treat her like I had the resistance pilot. I had reached into her mind and had been amazed to find thoughts very similar to my own. That same loneliness and emptiness and then she had entered my own mind and an unseen bond had been formed between us.  From that moment on I had been drawn to her. I wondered if her feelings towards me had changed since I told her the truth about Skywalker. Had she confronted him? I was sure he would've denied it all.  Finally my eyes closed.

I was bare chested again, This time standing where she was, feeling the cold sea water splashing over my chest and running down my back. Her eyes were on my chest, her own chest rising and falling sharply as she looked at me. I felt the same rush that I had felt earlier as I watched her eyes climb up to my face. She stepped closer to me and I could smell her now, a sweet smell almost like flowers. She gazed at my chest again, allowing her eyes to wander down towards my trousers. My heart was pumping wildly and she stepped closer again. Her eyes were soft and she was smiling at me. When she reached me she reached out and wiped seawater from my chest. I gasped at her touch, feeling myself hardening as she ran her fingers down to the top of my trousers and then over the fabric stroking my hardness as she stared into my eyes. I tried to say something to her but I was unable to speak and then she leant in closely to me and whispered in my ear "I believe you".

I awoke breathing hard. The dream had seemed so real, It had been as though she was really with me, touching me. I slid my hand under the covers and was not surprised to find that I had an erection. I moved my hand away quickly remembering that giving into lust made you weak. What was this effect that she was having on me I wondered?  I turned to look at the clock 2:15 am. Then I remembered her words, I believe you.  I wondered if she really did and how she would be with me when we next connected. The very thought of seeing her again fed my arousal and I shifted under the covers. When I finally fell asleep again I slept the whole night without nightmares.

The next day I spent in meetings with Hux. At one point the Supreme Leader called me in and I took a moment in the elevator to clear my thoughts. Especially my thoughts concerning the scavenger. I did not want him to know the effect she was having on me.

At the end of the day I headed back to my private quarters and sat, my head resting on my hand, thinking about her. And then suddenly her voice was in my head, speaking out loud as if she was there talking to me. I couldn't see her at first but then as I turned my head I realised that she was sat in front of me. Fire light flickering on her skin, showing the tracks of her wet tears "I had never felt so alone" she said. Before I even knew what I was saying I was leaning forwards in my seat "You're not alone" I said. I watched her head snap up and her eyes lock on mine and straight away I knew that she had believed me. I knew in that moment that she knew the truth about Skywalker and herself and me. " Neither are you, it's not too late" she said softly. When I heard the words coming from her mouth I felt such a rush through my body. I wasn't alone, I had made her believe me. I thought about talking to her about my mother and my conflicting feelings about the light and dark but I stayed silent, thinking about what she had said. I couldn't remember the last time that somebody had told me I was not alone. Suddenly a movement caught my eye and I looked down to find her reaching out her hand to me. I hesitated, my eyes flicking up to hers, trying to read her intentions. She looked at me with pleading eyes and my heart began to thump remembering my dream as I removed my glove. I slowly reached out my hand to her, feeling warmth as I pushed my hand forwards. I kept my eyes on hers and suddenly I felt her skin on mine. I saw her gasp and take a short breath inwards. Her skin was so soft and warm. I had not felt another's skin since I was a child.  And now, feeling it pressed against mine I began to get the same surge of arousal that I had in my dream about her. I pushed it away quickly as a vision came into my mind.

The vision showed Rey and I lying together. Her head was resting on my chest. Her eyes closed. I looked down at her and she looked up to meet my gaze. She spoke softly "Ben, I will stand by you, when the time comes you can count on me". I smiled at her and then turned my head noticing two gravestones which I immediately knew were the scavengers parents graves.

Suddenly I heard a bang and I was ripped from the vision. Our hands still touching, I turned and for the briefest moment I saw my uncle standing in the rain staring at us his eyes full of hate and then she was gone and I was alone in my quarters again.

I sat still, still able to feel her touch. I realised in that moment that I could not deny it any longer, I wanted to see her again. I wanted to feel her touch again. Just the thought of it sent waves of arousal through my body. I tried to steady my breathing as I forced my mind to think about the vision I had seen. If it was true, then we would meet again and this time she would stand by me. I felt a rush of excitement in my stomach as I thought about it. I rose from my chair and walked over to look out of the window. I closed my eyes and remembered the way that she had told me I was not alone. How soft her voice had been. I walked over and lay on my bed, thinking about Skywalker and feeling a deep hate for him. He had ruined the moment. Who knows what might of happened if I had been able to spend more time with the scavenger.  The thought made my cheeks flush and a feeling of longing spread through my stomach and into my groin. I wondered what my uncle would be saying about me now. I could imagine him trying to convince her that I was trouble, that I could not be turned. The truth was I didn't know if I could be turned or not, I was sure that in my vision I was still part of the dark side but the scavenger stood with me.

My head was swimming I turned and headed into the shower, stripping off my clothes as I went. The hot water felt good on my skin and cleared my mind until just one stubborn thought remained, I wanted to see her again.