Force connections

No contact

What had I done?.  I was alone again and now the loneliness was almost suffocating as I sat there in the cold mine with my knees still pulled up, my chin resting on them.  I had thrown away my future with Rey.  The very thought of her made my stomach flip and my heart ache.  It had been true what I'd said, I was afraid of her.  I was afraid of how weak she had made me since I'd met her.  I was afraid of the effect she had on me, of the hold she had on me.  I had almost fought alongside the resistance, my most hated thing. But what now? Now I was in limbo. I couldn't return to the First Order, Hux would kill me on sight, I knew that. I couldn't stay here alone though, the thought of it made me feel claustrophobic.

I stood by the door of the mine, looking out across the vast red and white scars of Crait. A thought entered my mind then, seeping in like a toxic smoke. The knights of Ren. I could find them again. Start a new order. A flutter of excitement filled my stomach but was quickly replaced by that deep loneliness again and a longing for something else. I realised quickly that that something else was her, it was Rey. I slammed my fist against the metal door. No. I couldn't be with her, not whilst she was with the resistance, it wouldn't work, it couldn't work. No, it would have to be the knights of Ren. I walked to the Tie fighter and flicked on the navigation system. They had last been on the planet of Anoat. That wasn't far from here, if I left now I could be there by nightfall.

I climbed into the Tie fighter and flew out of the mine again. I punched in the coordinates for Anoat. I hated that planet. It was a planet I had only been to once before, way back when I was a boy and my father had deemed it a good idea to take a seven year old on a smuggling mission. Prior to the fall of the Empire it had been used as one of their bases and now it consisted of empty buildings, shells of what my grandfather had created. My mind drifted to my father yelling at me because of my questions about my grandparents and his reluctance to tell me who they were. I had always felt the weight of that huge secret in the air. It had been Snoke who had eventually told me. At first I had been shocked and then he had brought out the charred helmet and I had felt proud, immensely proud. I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling guilty for straying so drastically from the path to making my grandfather proud. I had nearly thrown everything away for a girl.

Soon Anoat came into view and I circled around looking for a spot to land in. As I circled, I suddenly spotted a familiar ship. It was red and black, the knights of rens ship. It was hidden amongst some trees. I carried on flying and saw another of their ships, this one with the cockpit open. I landed slightly away from it and then climbed down.  I headed through the trees and soon a relic of the empire came into view, a dark grey structure similar to a castle.  I walked towards it slowly, armed only with a blaster, my eyes combing the battlements for movements.  Suddenly a blaster shot landed down near my feet, sending a burst of dirt up into the air.  I jumped, cross with myself for not sensing it coming.  Had my powers been affected as Snoke and my uncle had warned me by giving in to desire?

" Who goes there? State your name and your business" came a voice from somewhere on the battlements.  I straightened, my pride wounded, "Kylo Ren" I stated.  There was a pause and then the heavy wooden door began to open.  I kept my hand on my blaster as a familiar face appeared.  His name was Teekado, a tall man with tanned skin and a muscular frame.  I noted that his beard had become streaked with white since I had last seen him but other than that he looked the same, it didn't feel like five years had passed.  "Well,well,Well, our former master, to what do we owe this pleasure?" He asked, his voice full of sarcasm.  I walked towards him, my hand still on my blaster, "I need to speak to you, and the other men" I said raising my chin, trying to prove to both him and myself that I was still a force to be reckoned with, "Oh yeah" Teekado said, his arms crossing over his armoured chest, "You alone? Where are your First Order buddies?" I swallowed hard, unsure of what to say, "I'm no longer with the First Order" I stated blankly, my chin still upturned.  It was Teekados turn to walk closer to me then, his eyes narrowed "I heard that the Supreme Leader was murdered, supposedly by some girl, but seeing you here alone I'm doubtful it was some girl after all, or was it for some girl hey Ren, did some pretty broad get in your head?". I clenched my fist and tightened the grip on my blaster with the other, "Look, I need to speak with your leader" I said taking another step closer. Teekado held out his arm to stop me, "I'm the leader Ren", I nodded, a hand running through my hair, weary of this conversation already. "You look like you could use a drink, come on" Teekado said suddenly, slapping me on the back. I flinched at his touch but bit my tongue, I didn't want to make enemies here, I needed their help.

When I got inside the castle I was greeted by the other members of the knights of Ren and then they led me deep within the castle. It seemed abandoned, not another soul was there despite the castles size. "It's just the seven of you here?" I asked as we walked. Teekado nodded, "Sorry Ren, no court jesters or fair maidens". I ignored his reply, my head held high, my eyes forwards, I had to maintain the strong facade, if anyone of them saw a weakness in me they would exploit it. That was after all what we had been trained to do.

When we reached a large room Teekado gestured towards the heavy wooden table in the centre. I went and sat down, my eyes roaming over towards the counter filled with food and wine. Teekado noticed, "Jerrid fetch Ren some food and wine". I watched the man hurry over to the counter and begin filling a tray. He was the only knight I didn't recognise, he looked young, maybe only eighteen or nineteen.

Teekado poured himself a glass of wine and sat down opposite me as I ate, his eyes on me. "Where's your mask Ren?" He asked. I looked up at him and gulped down some wine, "It was destroyed" I said lowering my eyes again as I ate, "Who by? You?". I flinched uncomfortable with the conversation. "I know you have people who could build me a new mask, a new saber too" I said quickly, lifting my chin, meeting Teekado's gaze, "Light saber too? What on earth happened to you oh mighty Kylo Ren?" I dropped my gaze again.  "I get it, you don't want to talk about it.  Fine.  We aren't big talkers anyway.  Well I can sort you out with a helmet and a saber but what else is it you want?" .  I drank the last of my wine and then leant back in my seat, "I want you to join me" I said, reminding myself immediately of when I asked Rey to join me and quickly swallowing it away.  Teekado nodded at me, "Join you, what is it you plan to do?" "I want to eliminate the First Order, I want to take control.  For that I need man power" I said as Teekado poured us both another glass of wine. He nodded, "What do we stand to gain from this deal?" He asked, leaning back in his chair. I drank the wine back in one, enjoying the increased confidence it was giving me, "Galaxy wide domination" I said, my eyes on his.