Iridium

Chaper Forty Five

"Fight! Fight! Fight!"

One piece of paper per person.

One name per person.

It's truly not fair but rarely anything is. As I lean against the computer desk watching Arkadian upon Arkadian toss a piece of paper with their name into the bowl I feel my guilt intensify. Only one in eight of these people are going to have a shot at survival over the next five years. I suppose that's the price we have to pay to live. At least that's what I keep telling myself. We paid it at the Dropship, we paid it at Mount Weather, we paid it through Pike and once more with Alie. Never once does it get easier and yet we still continue to fight against time for our survival.

Sparing a glance up to the clock on the wall, I notice it's been four hours since Clarke, Bellamy, Murphy, and Emori set out to get Raven. No radio contact. I should take it as a good sign... but I don't. Let's just add that to the growing pile of issues I've got increasing my mountain of anxiety and stress.

The door opening I offer Miller a small smile when he enters, one he returns weakly. Leaning over he picks up the pencil and writes his name down, passing it to Kane for him to scrunch up and toss into the bowl. "Here goes nothing", Miller breathes out, nodding over to me before he leaves the room. Next comes in David, Miller's father. He nods towards Kane before writing down his name on the paper. Passing it over to Kane, the way our Chancellor pauses don't go unnoticed. Furrowing my eyebrows at the moment, Kane spares Abby and I a glance "David-"

"I know", David breathes out reluctantly "Nates already put his name in but I'd like to give him my spot too." When the room remains silent, David adds "If that's okay." Biting my lip I have to avert my gaze to the floor, scrunching my features to keep the tears from falling for the second time today "I want to give him the best chance."

"Of course", I hear Kane murmur along with the russell of paper in the bowl. Before I hear another entire, Kane states "One minute." Feeling Kane's hand on my shoulder, I glance up to see Kane watching me "Can you give us a minute Ave?"

Silently, I nod. Wandering over to the heavy door, I yank it open and step back out into the murmuring masses. Squeezing through those who are congregating to put their name in I wander down the ramp and seek a small corner on the bottom floor. Finding one I duck behind it leaning against the cold concrete wall. Closing my eyes I slide down the smooth surface doing my best to shove down the fear and anxiety that's tying my stomach into knots.