Fight for love

Hate me until you love me

The rest of the time in Hawaii went by in a blur of pain, sadness and jealousy as I would find myself trawling over social media looking at photo after photo of Grayson Topless during the daytime then living the high life in clubs surrounded by beautiful girls in the evenings.

If I didn't know better I sworn he was posting them deliberately to hurt me.

knowing that we were heading home to LA in a few hours, knowing I was bound to see him I did the only thing I thought might help ease the painful situation of placed us both in.

I sat in the departures lounge at the airport waiting for our flight to board chewing the inside of my cheek as I mulled over what to say.

GRAYSON
I'm sorry
......
it wasn't the most poetic or eloquently written alongside but it's all I could muster in my broken state.

💬💬my heart races as I saw those dots appear letting me know he was replying. I dreaded it.

I'm sorry too, sorry I opened up to you and followed  my emotions for once
.........
His words were bitter and full of regret and I closed my eyes shut tightly begging the tears not to fall I knew my family would ask questions and I wasn't strong enough to put on a fake show for them right now. I knew I'd crumble.

GRAYSON
you don't mean that
......
I do. Leave me alone. Don't text me. Don't ring me. Stay the fuck away from me.
.........
It was like she knew exactly when to swoop in a safe me. Miley quickly wrapped her hand around my wrist and guided me to the nearest restroom.

She pulled me close into in a hug letting the tears that had threatened to fall in public fall on the privacy of the stall of the airport bathroom.

"He hates me. I pushed him away because I was scared and now he hates me" I blurted out to my big sister hiccuping my words out between tears soaking her perfectly styled white shirt.

"He doesn't hate you. If he hated you he wouldn't be reacting at all Maddie" Miley kissed my forehead and wiped my tears away with the pad of her thumb as she tried to assure me that my worse fears weren't true.

I couldn't reply, no words would come out. I wanted to believe her but I didn't fully believe he'd forgive me. All I knew is that I needed him to forgive me so badly it hurt. Fuck it, I needed him so badly it hurt.

———-

It was Sunday and we'd been home two days. Miley has suggested I gave Grayson some space to calm down before I went to talk to him but I woke up with a fresh determination to go and see him and talk things through.

Also known as begging for forgiveness.

I'd showered, put on a light layer of makeup.
I Styled my hair and put on a cute outfit and was ready to go when Miley suddenly burst in my room looking nervous yet furious too.

Her hands shook in from of her as she held out her phone to me. Without a word I took the phone and peered down at the unlocked screen to the image on show.

Bringing the phone closer to me and squinting to endure I was truly seeing what I was seeing I thought I'd pass out or throw up.

It was Sammie's Instagram from last night with her sitting on Grayson's lap, him whispering something in her ear that was making her beam with laughter. They looked very cosy.

"No he wouldn't. She wouldn't" I shook my head frantically passing the phone back to Miley unable to accept what it looked like.

"Looks fucking like it to me Maddie" Miley spat angrily reviewing the photo again.