You Know My Name, Not My Story

Something Old XXVIII: I Quit

Philip's POV

"Yeah." said Alice in a dry tone.

I knew something was up, she was not the cheerful Alice I've known for ages.

"I should probably go home anyways, I've been tired lately and-" she started but I held her arm tightly.

"Ow!" she squealed.

"You're not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." I said calmly.

Her frown turn slightly into a sad expression and she sighed.

"I. Just. Want. To. Go. Home." she said stopping after each word and I let her arm go.

We looked at each other and she got up.

I followed her and we walked to her house together.

It was silent. There was an awkward like silence between us.

The walk seemed to have no end even though her house was very close to the park.

Once we arrived to her house, she went to the door and without turning back at me, she said goodnight quietly and went inside closing the door on me.

"Goodnight." I whispered.

I walked home alone and I felt something on my stomach. Like a knot.

I really didn't know what was going on with Alice nor why didn't she want to talk about it with me.

It's her birthday soon and I only have one thing to do - to give her the best birthday ever - I want her to be happy and I want to see her beautiful smile all day.

But deep down, I sincerely hope she's okay.

Alice's POV

The reason I didn't tell anything to Philip was because I don't want to upset him or to have him worried about anything.

As I kept repeating to him, I am tired and busy with all the work at the university and not being able to see my family or my friends is very upsetting. I'm just- alone in this and I feel lonely.

But that's not it.

Even though I'm doing great at school, no one actually minds me. No one cares about all the progress I do because I am a 'girl'.

I am the only girl in my classes and I might be the actual only girl in the university. I mean, it's not common for girls to attend college but I really thought that could change- I was wrong.

When I get the highest grade of the class, no one cares about it and worse- they cheer to the boy who got the highest grade among all the male students in the class -completely ignoring me- I just- I'm upset.

And then as if it wasn't enough upsetting, I also got called a witch or possessed by the devil only because I'm a girl who studies and succeeds.

I don't think I want to do this anymore. I think I learnt enough but with that going, all these studies won't serve anything to me as no one would like to accept a woman as a scientist or as a mathematician or anything she wants!

I got furious just by thinking about all of these and then suddenly I sighed.

"And Philip..." I whispered as I was sitting on my bed on the verge to cry.

He really wants us to be official and he always wants me by his side and I do think it's adorable and that's also what I want but- do I actually want that?

Yes. I do. But- I'm...scared.

For the first time in I can't remember how many years, I am scared.