If Only

Chapter 38

Austin's POV

I return to my dorm room and as I walk inside I notice that I am alone because Katie and Jonathan aren't here, I let out deep breath as I wander into the bathroom to take a shower. I strip off the clothes I have been wearing since last night and step into the shower closing my eyes as the hot water hits my skin and right away gets me to relax.

 From behind me I feel a pair of hands run up my back, "You're thinking of me again." I hear Garrett's voice whisper as he places his hands on my shoulders and starts lightly rubbing making my whole body shiver a little bit. "I guess you can say that you have been on my mind a lot as of late." I say as Garrett gently puts his head on my shoulder, "I wonder why that is?" Garrett asks as he starts kissing my shoulder lightly. I slowly turn around face him as we look eyes with each other, "I know why, but I don't feel comfortable admitting out loud." I say as Garrett takes my hand that has the wash cloth in it and brings it up to his chest, "Your fighting a losing fight Bookworm." Garrett takes my hand slowly moving it across his chest. I try my hardest not to let Garrett know just how much this is getting to me but the more I try to fight it the more it seems wrong to fight it at all. Garrett moves the cloth down his right arm slowly and takes his free hand and lightly puts in under my chin and lifts my head up so I am looking in his eyes. "What do you see when you look at me?" Garrett asks moving the cloth down his upper body, down each one of his abs slowly, and stops at his belly button, "You know your feelings for me are more than just that of being my tutor." Garrett brings my hand around his belly button and back up to his other arm, "Just be honest with yourself." I drop the wash cloth and carefully wrap my hands around his neck, "I shouldn't feel this way about you, I should feel this way when I meet the right girl." I say before Garrett leans down and presses his lips on my neck making me close my eyes enjoying the feeling.

I open my eyes again to see that it was all just in my head which I knew right away but a part of me can't help but wish that it was real. I wash my body and my hair as I finish up in shower before turning the water off and step out of the shower wrapping a towel around my waist. "I have to stop this, it is inappropriate and not becoming of the Black family name." I say out loud to myself as I splash some cold water on my face before leaving the bathroom and going upstairs to my room to get dressed. I put of a purple T-shirt that is two sizes too big for me, and pair of grey sweatpants. Once I am comfy I wander downstairs and flop down on the couch and turn on the TV to see that a few of my shows are on the DVR.

The sound of the front door opening catches my attention and I see Katie and Jonathan walk in looking at me with a puzzled look on their face, "Who is that?" Jonathan asks Katie as he points to me, and Katie just looks at me with her head tilted as she smiles at me before looking up at Jonathan, "I don't know Jon, it looks like my best friend, but the Austin I know only doesn't wear clothes like that, and he also doesn't stay out all night without telling me where is he." Katie walks over to the couch and sits down giving me a dirty look, "What is up with the look?" I ask pausing my show to give Katie and Jonathan my full attention.

"The look is because I spent all night worried about you, you didn't call, you didn't text, and you didn't leave a note." Katie scolds me as he lightly hits me in my shoulder. "I want an explanation, and I want it now." I sit up on the couch letting out a sigh, "First off I am sorry that I had you worrying all night, second off I know all too well that you were not worried about me all night because most of the night you were having sex with him, and third off where I was and what I was doing is my personal business." Katie gives a dramatic shocked look as she just let out a laugh, "I am going to find out where you were on way or another." She says as she gets up from the couch and takes Jonathan as the two go inside her bedroom.

I roll my eyes as I notice that she left the door open, "I swear, you were raised in a barn." I say out loud wanting Katie to hear me. I walk over to the door and I see Jonathan's phone going off with the name Huntsman on the screen. I can't help but think of my dream from the hospital last night and now the daydream I had when I was in the shower, it would seem that Garrett seems to be crawling into my mind a lot more. I hit the decline button and turn the phone off, "Why of all people in the world do I have to fall in love with Garrett Huntsman." I say out loud but low enough so that Katie and Jonathan wouldn't hear me.

"I never would have guessed that you were gay, and falling in love with Huntsman is just the cherry on top of my sundae." Says a voice from behind me. I turn around to see the one person that I never wanted to know my secret, the one person that I know is going to torture me until the end of time now that he knows I am gay and have feelings for Garrett. "I told you I would find a way to make you pay for everything, and it looks like as of right now I own you." Logan says grabbing me by my shirt pulling me into the hallway and closing the front door behind him.