Chapter 24 - Excruciating

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Episode 2x20

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Elena is Alive. John is dead. After Damon force feed Elena his blood in order for her to stay 'alive' for me, according to Elena, John had gotten Bonnie to cast a spell on him so that she wouldn't turn into the one thing that he hates. I'm only glad that he didn't have to see me and what I have become. Damon helped me, he got Bonnie to make me this beautiful day light ring, and he gave me a blood bag. It disgust me thinking about it. The idea of drinking blood thats come out of someone petrifies me.

I stand in front of Jenna grave with Elena on one side of me, and Damon on the other. I squeeze his hand tightly as tears slip down my face. I glance towards Johns grave too, not knowing how to process any of this. We've lost so many people. Mum, Dad, Aunt Jenna, Uncle John, even Vicki. I don't know how long I can hold it in anymore.

Tears continue to fall as I let go of Damon. I walk over to Johns grave an crouch down in front of it. All I can do is stare at it and cry, I don't have any words, I just wish I could thank him. I place one of the four roses I have in my hand down on his grave Next to Elena and Jer's ones. I stand up and shuffle to Jenna's grave.

"I am so sorry Jenna." I say out loud. "I don't know if you can hear it, but I need to say it, i'm so sorry." I say, placing down a rose. Tears drop on the ground, mixing in with the dirt. I stand up and move to my parents grave. We decided it would be nice to put them next to mum and dad. I place the last two roses down on their grave. I pause their and look at their grave, I can't move once again. The tears fall down my face. I'm losing everyone, everyone I care about around me gets hurt and killed, and I can't hurt them anymore. My breathing starts to get heavier and I stand up and take a couple steps back. Damon comes over to me and touches my arms, pulling me into him and I let him. 

I watch Alaric hold a rose out and place it down on Jenna's grave. I can't explain the amount of hurt that I feel. Its excruciating. I can't lose another person I love, I don't think I will be able to live with the pain of it.

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