Broken (A Cimorelli Fanfiction)

Alexandria

Why did I do that? I've never been that forward with someone before, but I saw her crying and wanted to comfort her. Ugh, what is wrong with me? She probably hates me now! Or thinks that I like her, and is disgusted with me! I'm not even gay, and if I was, I'd be bisexual. My eyes fill with tears as I walk back to the trampoline. About halfway there, I hear loud laughter from inside. Great, I bet Dani told them about me, and now they're laughing at me. Lauren is probably gonna shun me too! 

I pause and turn so that Lauren can't see me, and roll up my sleeve. I look down, expecting to see still somewhat fresh lines, but I only see scars. I bet my hip and thigh look the same as well. Fresh tears well up in my eyes as I drop my sleeve and look back to the ground.  As I reach the trampoline, I wipe my eyes and look up to see Lauren holding the blankets and looking at me with a concerned look on her face. I'm not even good enough at keeping up with... that. He would be so disappointed... 

I shake my head as I approach the trampoline. He is gone; locked up. He can't hurt you anymore. You are thousands of miles away from him. I take a deep breath, then look up, wiping my eyes. I see Lauren holding the blankets and looking at me with a concerned look. Perfect, she saw the whole Dani thing, then saw me crying. She's gonna hate me. I haven't even been here for 24 hours, and I've already ruined 2 friendships. 

We walk inside and upstairs in uninterrupted silence- who knows where the others went- and go into her room to put the blankets up. She goes into her closet to change and comes out wearing red flannel-pattern pants and a black "No good at being lonely" shirt, then sits next to me. We sit in silence for a minute or two, so I get up to go change and take care of... other matters. As I reach the door, she does something that surprises me. 

"Wait!" She jumps up and runs into her closet, then comes out with clothes about 30 seconds later. "Wear these! They'll look great on you. Besides, we seem to be about the same size." 

No, you're not 

She's way skinnier

You're so fat

Please don't eat breakfast 

It's not worth it

Do you want food or a skinny body

I shake those thoughts out of my head, for now, then go try on the clothes. It's a pair of semi-tight jeans with rips in them, and a black tank top with an orange crop top. I walk out of her closet, hiding my arms. 

"Umm... Do you have any long-sleeved shirts?" She looks at me confused, then nods and walks into her closet. She comes back out with a yellow cropped long sleeve shirt and I put it on. I walk out again, and she claps. 

"You look so good! Oh my gosh!" 

She's lying

"Thank you!" I force an apparently believable smile and grab my stuff. 

"Where are you going?" 

"Oh," I respond, "I'm just going to, like, brush my hair and teeth and stuff." 

"Oh, okay, meet me in the living room. You're going shopping today with Christina and Kathrine." I nod and basically run to my room. When I enter, I throw my clothes down and immediately go to the bathroom. I already unpacked last night, so I open the bottom drawer and take the bottom off. I grab my blade then put the bottom back in. I look at the shiny metal in my hand and turn it over. Is it worth it? I answer myself by placing it on my wrist and slicing. I end up cutting all the way up to the crook of my elbow, then start on my hip because I can't get to my thigh. 

I ended up doing a bit more on my arm, then putting it away before I accidentally die. I grab some toilet paper and wipe everything off so I don't get blood on Lauren's clothes. I have now about 20-ish on my arm- probably a bit more- and maybe 30 or 40 on my leg. I know it sounds like a lot, but it's not that bad. Some of them are deeper today because I was in a rush, so I lost a bunch of blood and now I feel dizzy and my arm hurts, like, a lot. I hope no one notices. 

I make sure I have a scrunchie on both wrists to keep my sleeves down, then quickly finish up my morning routine and go downstairs to meet Lauren. When I get down there, I see everyone sitting and talking. 

"Good! You're here! Let's talk ladies!" Christina says when she sees me. I sit down and we all listen to her. 

"Okay, so next week we start recording for Alexandria-" 

"Recording!" I interject. 

"Yeah... did we not say that you were singing with us?" 

"No!"

"Oh, well I hope yo-" 

"I can't sing..." Everyone is silent for a moment, then Lisa speaks up. 

"We'll see about that. You're doing a cover with us whether you want to or not anyways so..." I shrug and Chris continues. We'll start arranging our next cover tomorrow, so we need to come up with the song or songs tonight. Today, however, just do what you want. Alexandria, Me, you, and Kath are going shopping. No need to bring money." I nod and stand up and follow Christina out with Kathrine behind me. 

As I go to go around the car, Christina grabs my arm and pulls me to the door I just walked past, the one I need to get in. I wince a little but try not to let it show. Even though it hurt like heck. 

I hope they don't make me try on any short-sleeved shirts, I think as I get in the car. Kath starts the car, and we start moving. Today's gonna be a long day... 

a/n: again, it's super late and I'm tired, but I hope u like it! To all the Amy fans out there, I'm sorry I haven't done her pov yet, but it just hasn't been relevant to the story yet either. I promise she will be in it too. Also, I realized this is gonna be two books. one for before tour, one for on tour. thanks for reading guys! don't forget to vote, comment, and follow me for more stories like this! Thanks for reading this far, love yall! -Amy <3