I Blame Wattpad for My High Expectations of Men

Chapter 43 - Ryan fucking Parker

~Flashback Continued~

"Stare all you want, Lo, but I assure you that it's me. That beautiful, creative mind of yours isn't just imagining things," Ace says, snapping me out of my gaze that perhaps did linger on him a little longer than I was planning.

"Ace, what are you do-"

"Telling you what I should've said twenty-one nights ago," he interrupts me with a determined look. "I'm a fucking idiot, Lola."

"Well, I won't argue with that," I agree as I shut the door behind me. He gives me a pointed look that practically screams, you choose NOW of all times to be a smartass, seriously? "Alright, go on," I motion for him to continue.

"Thank you," he sighs, the determined look making its way back to his face. "I'm a fucking idiot because I clearly don't know how to value one of the few good things I have going for me in life," he practically repeats Hayden's toast from earlier, placing his hands in his jacket's pockets to avoid getting frostbite. "You've decided to give me, us, a chance despite me not being ready to tell you everything about my past even after you told me yours. You put enough trust and faith in me to still be by my side, regardless of being kept in the dark, and I'm a dick for not respecting that a lot sooner. But these past few weeks -without getting so much as a text from you- have been hell, and if the distance I've put between us made you experience even a tenth of the hell I've been going through, you have no idea how sorry I am for that. So," he takes a pause before somehow managing to breathe out, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," all at once, prior to finishing with, "and if that wasn't clear enough, I'm sorry."

"You know, it'd be a hell of a lot easier to consider your apology if I knew what exactly you were apologizing for," I respond, crossing my hands over my chest as I try my best to hide my smile. I can't help it. Every time I see him, especially in such a cute state with his nose all red from the cold weather, all I want to do is smile. No matter what. "Yes, you did just indirectly apologize for your lack of communication," I acknowledge, then point out, "but I still have no insight on why it had even come to that in the first place."

"I'm getting to that," he informs me and I nod my head for him to go on. "But first, I apologize for absolutely everything else. For having cancelled our plans on multiple occasions, for the times I've stood you up without even giving so much as a heads-up text, for not kissing you for knowing how to use a bobby pin properly the moment you broke into my room because you have no idea how hot and badass that looked," I actually chuckle at his words this time before he goes to say, "and most importantly, for not having lived up to the promise I gave you that night on the beach when it was most important for me to do so." Ace takes a step closer to me, shortening enough distance between us to caress my face with both his hands. "Look, I still don't think it's safe enough to tell you absolutely everything, but I also can't take another day without us being okay, so the least I can tell you is that my unexplained distance had to do with me being threatened through Riley."

My eyebrows furrow on their own accord at the last part of his apology, and even the slightest playful atmosphere that Ace and I were able to produce suddenly vanishes into thin air because shit just hit the fan. That's the detail I was waiting for, the reason that had drove him away to begin with, but it was also the last thing I had expected to hear.

"What?" I ask in disbelief, my arms slowly loosening up from their crossed position to fall down to my sides.

"Yeah." Immediately tensing up, he proceeds to explain, "that whole week before our finals, and the reason I've had to cancel more than one plan over and over again, was because I was traveling back and forth between Santa Barbara and LA to check up on her. I've made some bad decisions, Lola. Decisions that I'd take back in a heartbeat if I could, but never once had Riley's life been in danger because of them." He releases an agitated breath before continuing. "I received a text from an unknown number warning me that my sister was being watched or some shit, and that was enough for me to spend that entire week continuously traveling between cities until I was certain that it was nothing more than a sick threat."