I Blame Wattpad for My High Expectations of Men

Chapter 16 - The Linc to My Fish

~Flashback Continued~

Since the beginning of the semester 'til now, October 29, 2016, I've managed to rack up twenty fuck buddies on my list. All the candidates have a certain something that made them worthy enough in my eyes, and that says a lot coming from me.

Fuck Buddy #20: Brandon Stone. Sophomore, age 20, and star pitcher of UCSB's baseball team. Currently majoring in chemical engineering. What makes him worthy enough? The fact that his facial features remind me of Kris Brant, the hot third baseman of the Chicago Cubs.

Fuck Buddy #19: Austin Ortega. Junior, age 20, and a mad kick boxer. Currently majoring in Physical Therapy. Has an exceptionally monstrous dick. Enough said.

Fuck Buddy #18: Shaun Wise. Freshman, age 19, and his last name says it all. The dude's not only great in bed, but holds such a high intellectual level that talking about random shit with him is honestly a blast. He's currently majoring in Computer Science.

Fuck Buddy #17: Julian Hunt. Freshman, age 18, and a talented painter who's studying at UCSB's College of Creative Studies. Why is he worthy enough? He loves Sour Patch Kids almost as much as I do.

Fuck Buddy #16: Dustin Herrera. Junior, age 21, and currently majoring in Black Studies. He's also a barista at the campus Starbucks which means free shit for me, bitches!

Fuck Buddy #15: Leroy Powell. Sophomore, age 19, and a starting midfielder on UCSB's men's soccer team who's currently majoring in Cultural Anthropology. Did I mention that he was an international student visiting from Jamaica? Pretty dope, right? Well, let's just say that was more than enough of a reason to add him onto my list at the time. I've always big on diversity, sue me.

Fuck Buddy #14: Marcus Young. Senior, age 22, and a video gamer at heart. He's currently majoring in Computing, with the goal of becoming the world's next major video game designer. Why is he on my list? Perhaps because he's probably the only guy I've met on campus so far that can beat me in C.O.D.

Fuck Buddy #13: Joe Tran. Senior, age 21, and a Communication major. He also owns a sick red 2019 Honda CBR600RR that he lets me ride sometimes. Who wouldn't add the guy with a dope ass motorcycle on their list?

Fuck Buddy #12: Jeff Trainor. Freshman, age 19, and is currently undecided. However, he enjoys watching horror movies and that's always a plus for me. I think it's pretty self-explanatory what we do after the deed has been done.

Fuck Buddy #11: Adam Crawford. Freshman, age 18, and currently majoring in Economics. He's the son of some big shot billionaire with a publishing company out in New York, and well with Adam being loaded and all, one never knows when having a buddy like that can come in handy.

Fuck Buddy #10: Drake Owens. Junior, age 20, and will most likely be getting the boot if he doesn't do something about those fish lips by next week. He's currently majoring in Global Studies. Why am I still giving him a chance to improve? Because he does wonders in bed despite the great setback of his kissing abilities, or lack thereof.

Fuck Buddy #9: Stephen Santos. Junior, age 21, and also works as a bouncer at EOS Lounge while studying to be a mathematics professor. Providing an easy access to one of the hottest clubs in Santa Barbara, and without having my fake ID on me, why wouldn't I have added him to my list?

Fuck Buddy #8: Drew Sutherland. Senior, age 22, and currently majoring in Film and Media Studies like myself. He's also responsible for throwing some of the most legendary house parties, and why wouldn't I want to be one of the first people to always be on his invite list?