Being tricked by your idiotic publicist to spend a week at the five-star resort where your ex of three years was set to get married is insane.
Being saved by said ex from getting kicked out of that same resort for impersonating a barista -all while your ass is being flaunted over a security guard's broad shoulder on a live Hollywood stream- is mental.
But finding out that the power couple's suite is only a few doors down from yours -after agreeing to be a surprise guest on the show that they were scheduled to discuss that same wedding on in the next hour- is just downright embarrassing.
Yet little ol' me somehow managed to do all three -hehe, that rhymed- in less than forty-eight glorious hours.
Want to hear all about it? I bet all you Lace shippers -or shall I say 'sinkers'- out there do but tell you what. I'll spare you the second-hand embarrassment regarding incident number two -although, I must say that my ass looked quite fabulous on that camera- and give you the details to all the rest. Sound like a plan?
Good. Now enjoy, or don't, depending on how embarrassed you truly feel for me after having to read all this...
~Flashback Continued~
~My First Night on Hayman Island~
The Linc to My Fish 💯✊🏼🤞🏼❤️: How you holding up?
Me: Let me guess, you too saw my ass on international television.
The Linc to My Fish 💯✊🏼🤞🏼❤️: 😂 😂 😂
The Linc to My Fish 💯✊🏼🤞🏼❤️: Do I even want to know? 😂
Me: Ace Rivers.
The Linc to My Fish 💯✊🏼🤞🏼❤️: Ah, enough said.
Me: Precisely.
The Linc to My Fish 💯✊🏼🤞🏼❤️: Well, it can't possibly be worse than what happened at Riley's and Levi's wedding...
The Linc to My Fish 💯✊🏼🤞🏼❤️: Right?
Did I mention that Riley and Levi had been the first to get married out of the entire group? The proposal and wedding both happened towards the end of the same year that I had left Ace, their wedding having officially been the last time I saw him before running into him at the resort.
No? Well now you know.
Me: Okay, to be fair, it wasn't THAT bad...but definitely a close second.
Me: UGH, LUCA! When will I ever learn?! 😩
The Linc to My Fish 💯✊🏼🤞🏼❤️: Sis, you can be the smartest person to ever walk this planet, yet love would still be capable of making anyone look like a fool.
Me: Great, first Buffy and now you.
The Linc to My Fish 💯✊🏼🤞🏼❤️: Who df is Buffy?
Ummm, excuse me? Buffy immediately retorts inside my head. I'm Buffy the Vampire Slayer, only the most upbeat, determined, witty, lovable and strongest natural leader that you'll ever meet, homeboy!
Calm down, will you? No one exactly knows that you also happen to be the voice of my conscience.
Oh...right, she then realizes. Carry on now.
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I Blame Wattpad for My High Expectations of Men
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