The new girl - Elmax

Chapter 29 : Papers

Jane's days of suspension were over, allowing the girl to come back to school. Apparently, no one forgot about her. She reached her locker with difficulties, being hit at her shoulders by boys and girls, majority of the Football team or cheerleaders calling her « fag », « fucking homo », « dyke » or « slut ». And all she could answer was...nothing. It would make things worse. She opened her locker, tagged again, and a few small papers fell from it. She looked down, her legs shaking and her breathing accelerating. One of them fell on the written side. « Kill yourself ! » with a drawing of a person shooting their head surrounded by people laughing at them. She picked the papers up and hesitated to watch them. She knew it was all the same, all wishing her to die or worse. Her hand was shaking, but she couldn't look away from those papers. A hand on her shoulder made her start, dropping the papers again. She turned and tried to step back, hitting her locker, with her hands ready to fight.

- "Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you," Beverly told with a soft tone. "Are you okay?"

Jane looked at her with wide opened eyes and her breathing heavy. For one second, she thought she was going to have problems.

- "Yeah, I'm fine," Jane answered still ready to fight.

Beverly pinched her lips together and nodded. It was obvious she wasn't fine, but nothing she could say would made her feel better. Jane looked down at the papers, discovering the other words on them. All her bad memories were coming back in her head in a mess with her ears buzzing so much that she barely heard Beverly calling.

- "Jane!" Bev called louder than before.

Jane quickly looked up, but this time she was angry. Not in a big anger like the days before, but a bit mad.

- "Don't look at the papers," the redhead continued.

- "I need to pick them up," Jane answered.

- "No, you don't!"

- "Yes! I don't want this in front of my locker!" the girl got angry.

- "Okay, okay, calm down, I'll pick them up."

- "No! This is my shit! I don't need you to have pity for me! Pity doesn't help!"

- "I don't have pity, Jane! Just calm down!"

Beverly placed her hands on Jane's arms to calm her and to make her stop moving. Jane looked away with her wet eyes and bit her left fist, hopping on the spot.

- "Compassion and pity are two different things," Beverly told.

- "I know, I'm sorry," Jane said, still looking away. "I'm...I'm a bit out of my mind, lately..."

- "It's okay, I understand," the redhead weakly smiled. "Let me take care of the papers and, we could walk to Biology together?"

- "I...I don't think it's a good idea. I'll go to class alone."

- "You sure?"

- "Yeah, see you."

Beverly wanted to tell more, but Jane was already far, her headphone on her ears. She was feeling useless, she thought she just failed with Jane, she didn't show her enough that she was caring about her. But Jane was too scared to talk to someone, too scared of the consequences, she knew this too well.

The next days, Jane stayed distant from everyone. She was eating at the cafeteria only a few times in the weeks, in class she was sitting far from the party, and she was talking to them only if they were saying the first words.

It had been two weeks now that Jane was victim of her colleagues' mockeries. More papers, more tags, more jokes, more murmurs, even words tagged in the girls' toilets and changing rooms. But what she didn't know, it was that things were going to be worse.