Chapter 27--Mistake
I am staring at the empty ceiling of my room here for indefinite time. Lutang. Wala sa sarili. Ayan ako ngayon. Tumagilid ako dahil sa sinag ng araw na tumatama sa mukha ko, wala pa akong tulog simula kagabi--simula noong talikuran ako ni Irene. I'm not crying anymore but that doesn't mean that the pain is gone, my eyes may be tired already producing tears but sorrow still retains.
For the nth time, she rejected me. She hurt me again. Everything was already figured out and explained. Pero binalewala niya lang. Yes, we're drunk at that time but we all know that we're still on the right mind to know what's happening. Ano pa bang pagmamakaawa ang gusto niya para pakinggan niya ko? Bakit ba hindi niya ko kayang lingonin at balikan? Why does it have to be complicated between us? I know she still loves me, her actions says it all.
Why can't she fight for 'us'? Why does it have to be me that always do everything to save our relationship?
It was evanescent. Every time goes by, chances are vanishing quickly. Gusto kong maging matapang harapin ang katotohanan na hindi siya para sa akin pero hindi ko talaga kayang isipin. Duwag na kung duwag. In my whole existence, I've never felt so weak like what I am right now. Wala na, she'll leave my life permanently.
Rinig kong bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto ko at mga yapak ng pagpasok pero ni hindi ko man lang ito tinignan. Kahit ang paggalaw ng mata ko ay hindi ko magawa, buti na lang at humihiga pa ako.
"Dude, buhay ka pa ba?" Someone poked me on my shoulder but I didn't even bother to look or move.
"Aidan, this is serious. He must be emotionally depressed or worst traumatically!"
"He is just broken hearted, Jace. Don't be too exaggerated."
"Wait, is this still about my cousin? I thought he moved on?"
"Dude, hindi ka pa ba tatayo? Naghihintay si Irene sa'yo kanina pa!" I immediately get back to my senses when I heard her name. Napaupo ako at tinignan sila isa-isa. It was Jace, William and Aidan. Matagal ko din sila hindi nakita lalo na si William at Jace pero wala ako sa mood para makipagkamustahan.
"N-nasan si Irene?" I asked them panicking. Baka nagbago na ang isip niya. Baka gusto niya na bumalik sa'kin. Sabi ko na nga ba, mahal pa rin niya ko. I get excited to the idea that Irene is actually waiting for me.
Nagkatinginan silang tatlo. "Joke lang, dude." William told me with apologetic smile.
My energy fell as he said that. Mas lalo lang akong nadismaya at nawalan ng pag-asa. "Kailangan pala nandito si Irene para mabuhayan ka. Gusto mo papuntahin ko?" William asked me, kung sa bagay magpinsan kasi sila kaya palagi silang in touch. Ang swerte niya, kahit kailan pwede silang magkita ni Irene.
Umiling ako. "Wag na. Baka busy 'yon sa kasal niya." Humiga na lang ulit ako sa kama at tumitig sa ceiling.
I heard one of them sighed. "C'mon, Aeon. Don't just stare the lifeless ceiling. Do something! I didn't know why suddenly back out your plan but if your heart says she's really the one, then do the right thing." It was the voice of Aidan.
