whenever i bring up my feelings,
whenever i question what is wrong with me,
at least one person tells me:
"it sounds like you have bpd."
borderline personality disorder.
i have thought about the term for years now,
how all the symptoms and signs seem to match up perfectly.
i've been talking about it with my therapist.
but she thinks i'm just being a paranoid hypochondriac.
she doesn't believe me.
she told me i don't have bpd.
when everybody else is telling me that i might have this disorder,
but the one person who is actually able to give me a diagnosis refuses to listen,
what am i supposed to do?
i'm so frustrated.
sometimes i think about my exes and imagine myself cuddling with them again,
happily back together,
but more than half the time i imagine myself slapping them across the face in anger.
i'm a sick, horrible person.
people accuse me of guilt-tripping and pity-baiting,
but they don't understand that what i'm stating is purely factual.
i'm disgusting.
nothing can change that,
and nobody can convince me otherwise.
YOU ARE READING
everything changes (but we all stay the same)
Poetryif my life could be replayed, if i could share my struggles over the course of time, if i could create such a thing, an endless recording of my life; it would be over hours and hours of overthinking. - (trigger warning for frequent, graphic descr...
