as a child, my mother never did the simple, tender things that a mother should have done.
she never hugged me, or held me when i was sad.
she never wiped my tears and held my hand.
she never sang me lullabies, or rocked me back and forth after i had a nightmare.
all she did was yell, complain, and guilt-trip.
and now i'm paying the price for this lack of affection.
i find myself gravitating towards people who hug me more,
towards people who gift me with their natural motherly love.
and it makes me realize that your ideal partner is usually the kind of person who you needed most in your childhood.
i want nothing more than a girlfriend who will hold me, cherish me, and put me first.
someone who will drop everything to take care of me when i'm feeling ill,
who will wipe my tears and sing me my favorite songs.
i want to be cherished and loved, i need to restore myself with what i was deprived of as a child.
all i want is for you to hold me.
YOU ARE READING
everything changes (but we all stay the same)
Puisiif my life could be replayed, if i could share my struggles over the course of time, if i could create such a thing, an endless recording of my life; it would be over hours and hours of overthinking. - (trigger warning for frequent, graphic descr...
