i often forget that i am human.
even now, i can't feel anything.
i can feel my lungs taking in air,
and exhaling.
i can feel myself blink
and swallow
and i can feel my fingers typing away right now.
but i don't feel human.
sometimes, to remember that i am human,
i do dangerous things.
maybe it's the emotion i feel when getting high off of pills that makes me remember,
or the sting and warm, steady trickle of blood that makes me remember,
or maybe even the pain of being told i'm a disappointment.
anything that evokes any kind of feeling in my body,
anything to wake up my brain from the fog that i'm in,
it's the only time i can truly feel human.
not that i can remember what happened those few nights ago, anyway.
i was too drunk and high to remember.
but these scars and stained bedsheets make me remember what it felt like to be human.
YOU ARE READING
everything changes (but we all stay the same)
Poesiaif my life could be replayed, if i could share my struggles over the course of time, if i could create such a thing, an endless recording of my life; it would be over hours and hours of overthinking. - (trigger warning for frequent, graphic descr...
