everything changes (but we all stay the same)

2.1 // man and woman

women are complicated.

i'm sick of dating women.
i never know what they need,
what they want,
or their intentions.

they're often so vague
and refuse to properly communicate
and it's so frustrating trying to figure them out.

i can't read minds.
don't expect me to know what you're feeling
when you won't even give me a hint.

i have only ever dated women before,
the idea of dating men has always scared me.

but maybe it's time i test the waters.

it partly has to do with sexual frustration, of course.
but it also has to do with dynamics in a relationship.

i'm not the most "dominant" person,
in both sexual and non-sexual ways,
and whenever i date a woman,
she expects me to be the one to take control in the relationship.

i just want a comforting, guiding figure in my life.
someone who is willing to take care of me when i'm feeling down,
who won't expect too much from me,
and will protect me.

but people just use me.
they step on me, guilt me into doing favors for them,
and then throw me away like i'm something dispensable.

i guess,
until my prince charming comes and rubs my back while i'm crying at 9am,
i'll just keep postponing my inevitable suicide.

maybe he will make me change my mind.