three people are messaging me at once
i should be ecstatic
after all, isn't attention what i crave so much?
but three people are messaging me at once
and it feels wrong
it hurts, it's twisting in my gut
i wanted the attention
god, i wanted it so bad
i still do
but once i get the attention i crave so much,
i crumble under the pressure
the pressure and responsibility of messaging back
of not offending them
of making them feel better when they're sad
i feel like i'm the only one giving something in the exchange
it reminds me of my old relationship
and makes me feel dread
makes me realize that one day,
they too will be gone
just like all of my other friends
one day they are my best friend,
the next day they ghost me
i guess it's just people in general that i fear
not just the responsibility of being there for them
to crave attention so much
but fear people even more
is a curse that i wouldn't wish upon anyone else
YOU ARE READING
everything changes (but we all stay the same)
Puisiif my life could be replayed, if i could share my struggles over the course of time, if i could create such a thing, an endless recording of my life; it would be over hours and hours of overthinking. - (trigger warning for frequent, graphic descr...
