Reality || L.H.

Chapter 6

"I can hear way too much," I hear Michael say loudly in the living room. I ignore him, straining to get closer to Luke. He runs a finger up and down my spine and I shudder, clinging tightly to him.

"Michael, you are yELLiNg!" Ashton shouts and I laugh softly.

Luke rests his head against my shoulder, a smile playing across his lips. "I love those guys but sometimes I want to strangle them," he chuckles darkly. He looks at up at me through his eyelashes and I inhale sharply, causing him to smile. No matter how many times he does that he still takes my breath away. "We should probably go back out there before they get really bored and decide to have a stripper dance party on the table or something."

I laugh just picturing it. "I don't know, you might want to try that out. Sounds like the kind of dumb thing we need on a Friday night."

Luke smiles, sliding off of the bed. I frown as he pulls away from me, suddenly cold without his warmth.

Everything in my life seemed so straightforward and easy until Blake was a part of it again. These past few months have been like one long, perfect dream and the longer I think about it the more I wonder whether it was ever made to last. So many things threatened to tear me and Luke apart but through it all I've been holding onto his hand, desperately clinging to him. He's the best thing that's happened to me, but how can I ever be deserving of something as precious and pure as his love?

But I hide my worries behind a smile as I get dressed in spandex shorts and one of Luke's sweatshirts. My stomach twists into funny knots of desire as I watch Luke pull down the hem of his shirt, messing up his blond hair with his fingers. He catches me staring and grins, dropping one of those perfect blue eyes into a wink, a slight dimple appearing in his cheek.

"Well, well, well," Michael says slowly as we walk back into the living room. "How was the sex you guys? Worthwhile? It sounded pretty good."

"Oh my god," I say, rolling my eyes, my cheeks burning.

"Watch it, Clifford," Luke says dangerously, flopping backward onto the couch. He reaches out a hand to pull me onto his lap and I allow him, snuggling into his side. He's so warm and smells so like sea salt and wind and vanilla. He smells like home.

Sometimes I'm scared by the realization of just how badly I need Luke. Without him, I don't know who I'd be. He's the light in the darkness, the reason to smile when everything's falling apart. How can something like that belong to me?

Maybe Blake is right and I should let him get to know the me I am now. What happens when Luke realizes that I'm not good enough for him? What happens when he doesn't love me anymore? I don't know what it is about me, but people always seem to realize that I'm not good enough and leave. It's only a matter of time before Luke leaves me too.