Reality || L.H.

Chapter 35

Michael's mom lets me in and offers to make me cookies while I wait for Michael to show up.

"He didn't tell me anything, I just figured you looked a little upset," she assured me gently.

I nod, knowing that if I try to speak I'll just burst into tears again. I shuffle down the hallway and slide into Mike's room, hopping up onto his bed. Daniel the lion sits by his pillow and I grab the stuffed animal, holding it while I rock back and forth.

Calum gives the best advice, but Michael understands exactly what I need. He knows that I don't want to sit and have someone pressure me to tell them everything, the way Calum does. Cal's super big on the whole 'talk it out' thing.

I want to put everything behind me if only that means that I could be in Luke's arms right now. But I know the truth will always haunt me every time I look into his eyes. How can I look at him the same way knowing what he's done?

The door opens and Michael slips through, the plate of cookies his mom made in his hand. He sets them down as he crawls onto the bed next to me, opening his arms. The tears I've been holding back for a while now flow freely as I bury my face in his chest.

"I'm sure whatever it is will be just fine, Kat," he murmurs quietly.

I bite my lip as I sit back, wiping at my eyes. "Michael, if I ask you something, will you tell me the truth? It's killing me not knowing."

"Yes," he says slowly.

I swallow hard. "Remember that summer awhile ago when Luke refused to hang out with us? He didn't answer any of our texts or calls and when we went back to school, he simply sat down with us at lunch and told us to just forget about it?"

Mikey nods wordlessly.

"Do you know what he did? Did he ever tell you?"

Michael's expression changes. "Kat..."

I jump up off of the bed, looking at him in horror. "How could you?" I practically scream. How could Michael look at him the same way knowing the kinds of things he's done?

"Kat, please, listen to me for a second," Michael begs, reaching out a hand to pull me back onto the bed. "You need to know the truth - the whole truth. Not some snarky side comment an asshole made just because he wanted you to turn on Luke." His green eyes are wide as they plead with me. "Please. Let me explain."

Hesitantly, I sit down after a moment.

Michael shifts to face me, taking both of my hands in his as he looks me dead in the eyes. Calmly, he says, "I need you to promise to sit still and not interrupt me, ok?" I nod silently. Releasing my hands, he sits back and takes a deep breath.

"Two years ago, Luke started getting involved in some bad stuff over the summer. You didn't look too deeply into it because you and Blake had just broken up and it was still hard on you. Don't blame yourself."

He pauses for a second before continuing, looking down like he can't bear to look me in the eyes while he tells the truth.

"I guess he felt like no one cared about him, like his parents didn't give a shit about whether he came home at ten or midnight or not at all. He... He got involved with this old street gang that my cousin used to head, which is how I found out about it. Luke, he... He had a reputation. I don't think you would have wanted to see him then."

Biting his lip, Michael sweeps a piece of his hair out of his eyes as he turns to me. "Kat, don't hold the person he used to be against him. He knows he fucked up. At the end of that summer, he showed up at my house, sobbing, and begged me to help him. He said he didn't like the person he'd become and he wasn't proud of things he'd done. So I helped him. I got my cousin to go around to all the gangs and threaten them never to speak about Luke or his reputation. I threw out all his drugs and bottles of alcohol. It was like it never happened... until now."

I wrap my arms tightly around myself and force myself to ask in a voice that's barely more than a whisper, "What about all the girls?"

Michael smiles softly at me as he sets a gentle hand on my shoulder. "They were just like the drugs and alcohol - just something to fill the emptiness inside him. He never cared about any of them, but he never abused them. That was just a rumor they made up to fix their self esteem. Luke would never hit a girl." He tucks a strand of hair that had fallen in my eyes behind my ear, tilting my head up so I'm forced to look at him. "Especially not one he cares about as much as you."

I take a shaky breath, dropping his gaze.

"Hey, you don't have to decide what you're going to do about this tonight. Why don't we just go eat these cookies and watch a movie? You can crash here tonight, and tomorrow, you can either go get advice from your mom or Calum or Ashton, or you can go talk to Luke."

I nod slowly, swallowing.

Mikey picks up the plate and opens the door for me. I keep my arms wrapped tightly around myself as I walk into the living room, curling up on the couch. Michael's mom gives me a small smile as we pass the kitchen, moving to a different room. I duck my head to hide my tears as Michael takes a seat beside me on the couch and turns on the tv.

I nibble on the cookies while he throws out movie suggestions. None of them sound interesting to me. I just want to be back in our apartment, Luke's arms around me. I hate fighting with him. I hate leaving things the way I did with him.

But I don't know what to say to him.

I jumped to conclusions and didn't bother to let him explain anything. Sure, he did some pretty bad things that I find it hard to look past, but he took responsibility for his actions. He asked for help and changed his ways. If I asked him why he even did those things in the first place, would he answer? Or would he keep secrets from me like he does with the world?

That's it, isn't it? That after all that we've been through, he still doesn't trust me.

Michael starts a movie he must have asked me about, but I honestly can't remember what he said about it. I don't know what it's called, much less what it's about.

He wordlessly holds out the plate of cookies to me and I take another, frowning as I rest my head on his shoulder. It was some Lindsay Lohan movie, which only made me think of Mean Girls, which made me think of Luke, which made me sad and confused all over again. I appreciate Michael's attempt to help, but I'm not sure it's working.

The movie ends and I don't know what I'm going to say to Luke any more than I did when we started. The only thing that's changed is the fact that all of the cookies are gone now.

Michael shifts slightly on the couch, frowning as he looks down at me. "Do you feel better now?" he asks quietly.

I shake my head, biting down on my lip.

"Sometimes you have to move past things without ever really becoming ok with them," Mikey murmurs, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "My dad left when I was nine. I'll never be ok without having him here, without having a dad like everyone else. But I've moved past it because I have better things to do than sit around and cry like a baby."

"I'm sorry about that, by the way," I say softly. "I don't think I ever told you that."

He shrugs. "It's ok. Like I said, I'm over it."

I notice for the first time how close he is. He seems to notice too because the look in his light green eyes changes. The next thing I know, we're leaning closer, crossing the space between us...

xx

Ooooh tea!! 

Michael and Kat???!!

Let me know what you think!! :)) <33 

- A