abyss ↣ joe sugg au

twenty one

[Trigger Warning: mentions of depression/suicide]

Charlotte was sitting on Joe's balcony awaiting his return with a cigarette between her lips. He'd left for his photography class an hour ago and Charlotte had finished her paperwork not long after and she was on her fifth cigarette. She enjoyed it though, seeing the clear blue sky get fogged in her vision by the smoke she breathed.

She could call Niomi but she'd probably spend the next few hours eating peas, and she could call Andrea but Kian had called her late one evening confessing his knowledge about herself and Joe and explained that Andrea wasn't too comfortable about it as of yet, but he was sure she'd come round soon, and soon hadn't happened yet, so that ruled out everyone then.

Instead she'd spread out some of Joe's photographs around her on the wooden floor of the balcony. It was late April and there was no wind so she was safe for now, careful to keep the smoke away from the captured landscapes, afraid of committing them to ashes. Charlotte often set herself in high places, and looked down at the world around her and felt the deep hatred pooling in her stomach at what she saw, but there was a certain beauty in what Joe had created, made Charlotte feel as though adventure and mystery was hidden on the paper they were displayed on.

"Don't you dare think about stealing my thunder." A familiar voice came from behind her and she closed one eye against the sun in order to see the figure standing there. Joe was lent against the door frame, glass of orange juice hardly sipped in his hand.

"A computer keyboard is more my style." Charlotte mocked, stubbing out the last of her cigarette and leaning her head back against the wall. Joe sat down opposite, back against the wood of the balcony's edge, more interested in his photos scattered everywhere than the view.

"They're great, you know." Charlotte piped up, picking up one of a shadowed tree with an artistic sunset behind it. Charlotte imagined climbing the tree and inhaling deeply as she reached the top where the air was much crisper.

"Thanks, I would like to think so too." He smiled warmly.

They sighed in turn and enjoyed the silence of the Sunday morning. Charlotte tried not to let the stress of work get to her as she sat there - it had got a lot tougher since her and Caspar ended their relationship. Caspar told Marcus and Marcus told Niomi, who told Tanya who told everyone and the work environment just became very uncomfortable. Many of Charlotte's fellow colleagues could barely believe it in the first place, after she'd turned up to the Christmas Party with an accused murderer in tow. Anyway, Charlotte actually put a lot into her job now, feeling as though she owed it to Caspar to keep it afloat without his support. She binned the Rubik's cube for all it was worth and produced a fair amount of templates and spreadsheets in the working day, getting approving once over's from her Boss once a week, but it just felt so un-fulfilling. Everyday the same, lacking adventure and excitement.

It's why she had become so fond of Joe, she supposed. They'd go on late night adventures, wrapping up in too many layers to explore the most desolate parts of London. They'd climb up the ramps of the skate parks and Charlotte would wait patiently as Joe slotted his camera through the bars to snap a few picturesque shots before they ran down with arms flailing. They'd climb on top of various buildings minutes after and Joe would take yet more photos and even though it was less than half an hour after he'd taken the last, the sky looked like a totally different story.

"I wish you'd open your eyes and realize you're better than that shitty office job." Joe muttered like Charlotte had voiced her thoughts.

"We both know that's a load of bollocks." Charlotte scoffed, gesturing for Joe to hand over his freshly lit cigarette.