abyss ↣ joe sugg au

seventeen

[Trigger Warning: mentions of depression/suicide]

Charlotte should of gone home as soon as she left the cafe. She should of forgotten about Zoe and Joe and Leah and that night. Charlotte should of gone home to her boyfriend who has more than likely prepared a candle lit dinner but instead she went to the middle. Her fingers brushed the cold metal repeatedly, although she was scared to grip it in case the adrenaline shooting to her fingertips shattered it.

The sound of the water flowing soon faded into the screams that used to splinter the night, the one's that were carried along the bridge as Charlotte ran, as the blood pumped round her body and the air filled her lungs.

Her eyes peeled from the water and she looked to her left, imagined Caspar standing there with his hands in his pockets, all prim and proper like he usually was. His eyes were sad though, trying helplessly to reach Charlotte only with his eyes but she was always one step too far away. Then she looked to her right, imagined Joe with a smile threatening his lips, eyes glassy and nose wrinkled just like when he'd won a race. He wasn't hoping, he was just waiting because ever since that first night at this very same spot, Charlotte had been in his reach. She had always been his.

And that's why she went right and that's why she didn't even look back because it wasn't her choice to make, it was all those lonely nights that turned into warm hugs that chose this direction for her. This is why she might of had tears streaming down her cheeks as she mounted the stairs in Joe's complex.

Charlotte knocked on the door, and there was no reply, no sound of movement. Nothing. Just like the past four months.

Out with his girlfriend, Charlotte thought.

But now she was here, she couldn't bring herself to leave. Some kind of sick and twisted magnetic pull forcing her to stay right where she stood. She pulled out her phone, dug for Joe's number through her contact list and rang, putting her ear close to the door.

Ringing.

It was ringing, she could hear it echoing on one of the few surfaces in Joe's flat and then it cut off, after the first few rings and he was in there.

He was in there.

Ok it was stupid. A foolish idea but when had she ever had thoughts that were anything but. She dug in her pocket for the receipt of the two coffee's and tea she purchased earlier and a pen from her bag and scribbled those words on it and slid it under the door, retreating back to the opposing wall and sitting down against it before her knees gave way.

It took a few minutes, eternities it felt like but the door clicked open and shit, this was Charlotte's death.

Joe stood with one sweat-panted leg still in his flat, naked from the waist above and his fringe was pushed back with a ratty black bandana, revealing red and swollen eyes. His hand shook around the receipt he was holding as his eyes burned holes into it for a few moments more, before he looked up at Charlotte with an expression that was unreadable.

"Is this some sort of sick joke?" Joe bit, slicing through Charlotte straight down the middle.

"N--n," Charlotte stuttered. Idiot. A fool.

"Did your boyfriend dump you or something? Is this some sort of twisted idea to get back to me?" Joe's lip was trembling around his lip ring and wow.

"Alfie Deyes." Was all that Charlotte could say at first. "Alfie Deyes, you used to play football with him on your local green in Bath, your sister used to come and watch you two play and shout Alfie's name just to get a smile from him. And now they're getting married." Charlotte gestured to the receipt in Joe's hand.