abyss ↣ joe sugg au

fifty five

"What the fuck." 

Charlotte had just opened the front door on boxing day, to her Mother stood holding a puppy.

"What the fuck." 

She didn't know whether to shut the door and open it again, to stop these hallucinations. 

Her Mum's grin was spread across her face, ran the risk of splitting it in fact. 

"Joe!" Charlotte shouted without tearing her eyes away from the pair, "can you come here a second?" 

Her Mum laughed a little, amused at Charlotte's panicked voice. 

It took Joe a couple of seconds, but he jogged from the bedroom to the front door and fell about laughing when he saw Charlotte's Mum and the dog.

"What is going on?" Charlotte scowled. 

When Joe finally straightened up, he just gave Charlotte a smug smile and took the dog from Charlotte's Mum liked she'd been borrowing it. Joe started cooing at the little brown pup as soon as it was in his arms, doing circles in the living room, 

Charlotte pushed any previous emotion to one side in favour of looking at Joe mother the little dog. Her Mum bumped her shoulder and dumped the carrier bags she was also carrying onto the sofa, casting Charlotte a pleased smirk. 

"Will you please tell me what's going on?" Charlotte hissed, not really angry at all. 

Charlotte's Mum just smacked a kiss on her cheek and cheered, "Merry Christmas my love!"

It was only when Charlotte had wiped the wet kiss off her cheek that it dawned on her that this must all be a sickly-sweet set up. 

"Joe!" Charlotte squealed, "That isn't....." Charlotte trailed off, suddenly fearful of being wrong.

"Our dog!" Joe beamed and Charlotte suddenly became very aware of the sound of blood in her ears. 

Charlotte barrelled towards Joe and threw herself at him so he toppled onto the sofa, eliciting laughter out of him even though he was guarding the dog with meaning. 

"Have you two been keeping this from me?" Charlotte sits back, all mock-stern. 

Joe and Sally shared that look and yeah, Charlotte always knew they were a team. She hit Joe first, before kissing him silly, making baby faces at the pup in his arms and then rounded the sofa to wrap her Mum in a strong hug. 

"I'm so--" Charlotte felt hot tears streaming down her face, holding the puppy for the first time. 

#

"Merry Christmas Sally," Caspar kissed Sally's cheek as he entered the flat bearing wine.

"Merry Christmas Cinders," He wrapped Charlotte into a tight hug as she welcomed them.

"Merry Christmas mate and shit, you got Rhino finally!" Caspar stroked Joe's head and then gave a high five to the excited pup scrambling to get out of Joe's arms. 

Joe rolled his eyes but nodded, holding his arms out a little to present his little pride and joy as the others barrelled in. 

It hadn't been that long since Joe had seen everyone, but it felt so good to have them all back together again. Although everyone still had a tan from LA, Troye and Tyler's was definitely the most prominent as they threw themselves down on the sofa and popped open cans of beer. 

Zoe cooed in excitement as she let her pug Nala clamber out of her arms and jump up at Joe's legs in attempt to reach Rhino. Joe caved eventually, and let the two dogs race between everyone's feet as they took their preferred seat.

When everyone was settled, having their own private conversations, Joe pulled his attention away form the dogs and to where Charlotte had her back pressed against the front door, a faint smile upon her lips as she surveyed the scene around her. 

When Joe finally catches her eye, he realizes that she is near to crying, he's sure. He excuses himself from the masses and tip-toes to where she's lent against the door and scoops her up. 

"Hey party-pooper." He teases, moving a stray strand behind her ear. 

"I'm just gearing myself up for the likes of Caspar Lee." Charlotte assures, smoothing her hands out against Joe's chest. 

Joe kisses her quickly, like it's meant to be a secret, but his grip tightens on her waist.

"You're happy yeah?" He asks.

Charlotte nods and points obviously to her brimming eyes. "Happy tears, I swear."

"Good." Joe smiles fondly and moves round a little so they can witness the massacre together. Sally's trying to tame Caspar and Troye, who are running circles around the dogs and Zoe's screaming into Alfie's shirt in fear someone's going to get hurt and Bethany's cackling to herself, assuring Zoe that everything will be okay every once in a while. 

"You know something," Charlotte whispers.

Joe turns his head to look down on her. 

"I know some people should be here. I know that my dad could be here, Andrea and Kian could be here, your parents, but it just -- I just don't feel like there's anything missing, you know? I feel like just, real whole right now and you know what's even crazier? I don't feel bad about it."

Joe hums for a second, processing the words in his head and then he beams, looking at his friends and Sally in the living room, then back at Charlotte with heart-eyes. 

"I've got that feeling too," He nods, "Real bad."

It stirs something in them, giddiness - and they start to laugh childishly at the whole thing. At how a long time ago the whole concept of anything like this happening would be beyond a joke, but here they are, and it just -- it felt like they like had hit free fall.

Charlotte's not sure if it's an accident when her mind trips back onto the bridge, sheets of black in her head and all around her and the filter of smoke cascading up into the sky and the sound of water running beneath her like it was some sort of haven. This up roaring fear hit her between the ribs as she realized that if she were to have left the house a minute later, had gone a different direction that night, her Boss hadn't shouted, her roof hadn't of leaked, her best friends hadn't abandoned her a long the way then she wouldn't have met this man, who had built her a life from the nothing he had and it was several sorts of amazing. It was such a scary amount of emotions hitting her all at once, because someone loved her enough for all the people that didn't know how. Charlotte knew Joe felt the same, somehow, that once upon a time he was ready to write books about how love was a pile of shit and rip up those pages into the Thames along with himself. It was a daunting concept that someone could actually love him the way he once loved and how he wasn't fearful of learning to love like that again. 

"Stop thinking so loud." Joe nudged into Charlotte and her eyes flickered out of the daze, everything stopped being blurry as she looked at Joe. Joe, who was her boyfriend, who was now the proud shared-owner of a cream and white Lhasa Apso who'd ironically been called Rhino. Whatever the name, it was theirs and hey, Charlotte might not of been Joe's first love, might not of been Joe's first of many things but there's still so many firsts out there, so many things to conquer for the first time together, and that mess of fluff and sloppy kisses rolling about on Bethany's lap a few metres away, was the start. 

IM SUCH A LOSER IM SORRY FOR NEVER UPDATING LMAO THE ENDING WAS CRAPPY AF SO IM DOING A MASSIVE EPILOGUE - EXPECT IT SOMETIME THIS DECADE I PROMISE. ALSO IM PROBS GOING TO GO BACK AND EDIT THIS 32473482374 TIMES BC EW EW EW 

ALSO WHAT IF ??????? THIS WHOLE STORY WAS JUST A SICK SORT OF DREAM OF CHARLOTTE'S. THAT SHE WENT TO THE BRIDGE AND SAW THE MAN THERE AND SHE SAW HIM SMOKING AND SHE WANTED ONE BAD AND IT MADE HER THINK OF ALL THE THINGS SHE WANTED BUT SHE WANTED TO DIE SO MUCH MORE AND THIS WAS JUST ALL JUST TWISTED THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUGH HER MIND AS SHE STANDS ON THE EDGE. LITERALLY WHAT IF ?????? IM KIDDING IM NOT THAT CRUEL, BUT HONESTLY IT'S KINDA COOL TO THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT