Friendship is an odd concept. In theory, it can be seen as one of the most beautiful things in the world. However, outside the idealistic view, things are very very dfferent. People who I called friends, considered as friends, and yet I kept feeling, constantly, that I was being hurt by them. And of course, there was a unbalance that was crucial for that. I am going to be a little bit unpolite, and say something about money, because that's what I believe was one of the main issues. Frankly, I don't believe people from different social and economical backgrounds can come together and just be friends. I know there is a lot of good intentions, but the results are simply disastrous. It's like, forget about the exploitation, forget about inequality, forget about all this stuff, you can still be friends with the people who are there, enjoying the fruits from the exploitation, who were born and raised through the fruits? How would that be possible? It isn't enough television to make me love my own exploitation? Do I need fake friends to do that for me, also? I would rather not to. But I was so insecure, because I have nobody else in my life, except for these three persons that I see only ocasionally. And they even managed to get the preferencial treatment. Members from my family, an ex-friend got banned from my social circle, because I was so angry, and I couldn't stand even a casual misunderstanding, and wasn't able to address things in a more inteligent way, so I blocked them on my Instagram account. I didn't block these three people, I just stopped notifications, and stopped to open the app. They have tons of other friends, tons of other people who they can count on. What I represent to them isn't remotely similar to what they represent to me. That's an unbalance. And that gives power to them over me, and make me more susceptible to take shit. I'm not saying human relationships are perfect, and that people doesn't hurt each other eventually, and there might be no intention in doing so, and that may be a part of a relationship. But when it is repetitve, well, it's maybe something else. I don't know what is going to happen in the next few days, I didn't end any relationship, I just stopped to open an app, but surprisingly, that makes a huge difference. A part within me just wants these people out of my life. I'm thankful for all the good moments, but the overall damage is too big.
