Loving the Ruthless Wave

Kabanata 40

Kabanata 40

Lifeless

I left Manila not because I am mad or frustrated. I left because I was hurt but I was never mad at him nor to her. It's just that, I felt suffocated that I needed to leave to breathe some air from new environment. I just needed to refresh my mind to retain all the trust I have for him and for myself. I was hurt alright, it is inevitable in my situation but I was never mad.

My trust is bigget than this pain I have in me. It's just that I felt so tired and needed some rest.

Sa buong araw na iyon ay hindi ko pa rin pinapansin si Apollo. I haven't heard any apollogy or explanation from him. Not that I am demanding for it but maybe I still want to hear it from him. I want to know his side, his thoughts and all but I never asked it on him. Hindi ko rin naman siya pinipilit. He can explain it to me if he wanted to and if he doesn't, then it is okay. Hindi ako galit o ano man. Maybe I was hurt but it stopped there. Hanggang doon na lang iyon. May tiwala ako sa kaniya.

I am not a demanding person so it is okay.

Nakapamili na ako ng mga damit. Sa sobrang tuwa ko sa pamimili ay karami kong napili. I am planning on staying here for a while. I quitted work, I am not totally okay with my husband and I wanted to breathe some air. I want to leisure and have a break for a while.

"What's your order ma'am?"

Hawak hawak ko ang menu ng tumingin sa waitress para sa aking order. Hindi ko nilingon si Apollo kahit na umupo siya sa tapat ko kahit na hindi ko naman siya inayang kumain. Pumasok ako sa restaurant na ito ng mag isa at hindi ko alam na sinusundan pa rin pala niya ako. Iniwan ko siya pagkatapos niyang magpakilala kay Herson.

"Vegetable salad and orange juice."

Ibinalik ko ang menu at tumingin sa babasaging salamin na nagsisilbing dingding ng kainan. I heard the waitress asking for Apollo's food but I never turn my gaze on him. I can feel him looking at me that is why I am feeling awkward.

"Mavis, let's talk."

Bahagya akong natigilan. I remain to build my composure though I feel nervous inside. He didn't call me Madison. He called me by my nickname and it feels weird. Dahan dahan akong tumingin sa kaniya. His brooding eyes instantly met mine. Mabuti nalang at naka upo ako dahil kung hindi ay baka nalaglag na ako dito sa sobrang kaba.

"What?" I asked without showing any emotion.

"Baby I'm sorry." He said as he tried to hold my hand.

I raise one of my eyebrow that made his hand stop midway.

"What you saw yesterday... it is not what you think it is."

"Ano ba kasi ang iniisip ko?" Tanong ko na nagpatigil sa kaniya.

I heard him sigh.

"I never knew and I never expected that she will do that. Damn! If only I have known earlier, I wouldn't let her talk to me."

I can see his veins coming out of frustration.

"She said she just wanted to say sorry for bursting her emotions to you. I never thought that she would just pull and kiss me. I don't know why she did that!"

I sigh heavily.

"She loves you still."

Tumingin ako sa kaniya. He looked at me and equalled my gaze.

"But I don't love her anymore,"

"Let's just forget about it Apollo." I said calmly.

His frustrated eyes looked at me like I am a piece of joke right on his face.